x2 Step 125 – Journal Step 124 - Today I will not pretend I am happy.

Today: Step 125 - I do not need to be someone today. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 124 - Today I will not pretend I am happy.

“Today I will not pretend I am happy.” Step 124

8:10 a.m. Thursday, December 21, 2000 –

Free write – first – to find a pen – the blue ink one disappeared. This is day 2 of my un-pitied life – what can I do to get my regional intelligence career going? Write is number one – and this morning has to generate a promised article. Can I inspire others through writing to tackle issues, network beyond their boundaries, and create greater community?

9:35 a.m. …Day 2 of Tom's longest vacation – 14 days. This has never happened before. Two weeks of vacation – for my recreation. There's much I need to learn in order to be skillful in my tiny business. It may never be that – it might just be my mission to learn/teach.

9:45 a.m. The challenge to humanity – how shall we relate in populated universe – where we must be as one? What are the intentions of other races? We need a unified world for presentation out, not for management within.

It is so simple, yet w/o vision it can't be seen. Align programs – as Gov. Glendenning has done for smart growth. Don't let local boundaries, state agency biases, fragment program delivery. The goal of all programs is to build constituency, build community. Regional community – aligned – is important to get off the "local" only natural view.

10:25 a.m. Community can be limiting – it is a polarity.

11:19 a.m. I have content, it needs form.

11:50 a.m. Just listened to the holiday message from the Teachers. A real audio tape from the Greater Community. My heart’s goal is unity with God.

12:27 p.m. My article should be done…but I've spent the morning on diversions of the spiritual type. How can the message be made more simple?

→My market goal is to own more shares.

→For all these years of experience, I did not know where I was going. Now I can see better…now I can feel my heart in the work.

…

5:03 p.m. – Tired from writing, though I am making progress. There is much that can be said. Can it be done in a way that extracts learning and promotes community? That is my goal. I've overeaten and am lethargic on the stomach.

6:10 p.m. Practice #2 – I've a distance to go on my article. It must go out tomorrow A.M. K is my path, but I keep checking other sources. Some of the afternoon might have been wasted – I don't know. I feel that S2K is a true path. By paying attention to the competitive environment I believe that I can find space to learn and develop RI. This will take years…but what else is time for? I need to give more to David, Sarah, Mary Ellen, Cindy – that which I need myself.

An articulate day – time to think and write, yet the emotions must be given recognition as well. I do my best, but there is a long way to go.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.