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| “My practice is my gift to God.” Step - 148 |
YOUR PRACTICE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD, for God wills
that you receive Knowledge so that you may give it to the world. Thus, you are
honored as the recipient and as the vehicle for Knowledge, God is honored as
the source of Knowledge, and all who receive it will be honored as well. This is your gift now — to undertake the true
preparation that you are involved in currently.
THEREFORE, TREAT EACH PRACTICE PERIOD TODAY as a
form of giving. Upon the hour, give yourself in each circumstance in which you
find yourself. In your two deep meditation practices, give yourself completely.
Do not come begging for ideas or information, but come to receive and come to
give. As you give yourself, you will receive and in this you will learn the
ancient law that to give is to receive. This must be born completely in your
experience so that you may fully comprehend its meaning and its application in
the world.
YOUR PRACTICE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD. Your practice is
your gift to yourself. Come to your practice today to give, for in your giving
you will realize the depth of your own resources.
PRACTICE 148: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
From the journal Step - 147 Review
8:30
a.m. Saturday, January 13, 2001 –
Freedom
– David, you’re 24, a father – I set you free, because I have no more help to
give. No more money – I've got to take care of my own future.
Today,
up and on the net – I like the New York Times headlines, and my online global
community. It makes me feel connected – within the illusion.
S2K
gives me perspective within the illusion. It feels accurate. A double veil?
–
monopolar world – my pole is the pole –
4:51
p.m
. At
Tysons Corner – here in the retail wilderness completing the long practice
review. Completed the 3 x 5 card notes for past two weeks. Sent GCW [Greater
Community Way] info via email to Jean Hudon. Need to send it to
Bill S….
10:39
p.m. Back from nova – wine and Nachos – someday will give those up too.
California is having a Commission on regions. A guy signed up for regions work
– address "CA" so I sent him some emails. Too bad I don't have a
fully articulated theory. It is still coming through, and I've been indolent.
>
Can there be integration without pro-active integrators? Change agents with the
vision of cooperation and integration of thoughts, actions, processes – and
feedback loops – a communications loop.
Vision
is the easy part…
>
S2K is moving me now…imperfect as I am. I'm being unburdened further – David –
he's now on his own financially – I can help no more. Emily and Lane – what
becomes of them? I said we'd take Emily. That is supported by Cindy – and so –
we can do something together, though it seems unlikely that Jamie would agree w/o
a court taking the kids. Still – that option unburdens me. I lent David $5500
to get a truck with a $300/month payment – not the $600+ he has.
I
told mom today. She wanted to read her own spin into it. Cindy as well. I am
prepared to accept the outcome – David & Jamie crashing, the children at
risk. David could hurt himself/kill himself – or others – so – we could make
the news, there could be pain, suffering, trauma and death – public spectacle
and humiliation/embarrassment.
What
lies ahead… I cannot know – but I will trust knowledge.
Some
heavy thoughts and situations in the journal this day. As of 2015, the
circumstances have been survived by most of those mentioned. Spirituality
helped me get though tough periods, but it does not solve problems. Some
problems have no solutions, according to the GCW teachers.
That
miracles could be managed; sent to a circumstance with a little shift from
those who have to those who don’t, was implied in A Course in Miracles (ACIM)
and that was my understanding. In traditional Christian prayer, we are told
that God answers all prayer, but sometimes the answer is “no” or “not now.” The
AICM teaching that our life in the separation is an illusion may be true, but
personally, I don’t have the sense that my mind is great enough to have
constructed this illusion. I began to look for something to help me understand
life in this “temporary” existence, that is, “illusion management” skills. That
is what I found in Greater Community Spirituality.
Life
relationships can be quite difficult and made more so by the difficulty of
communicating values and truth to others, such as your children. In the middle
of such difficulties it is normal to ask, I think, “Why did I choose this life?”
and “How did I end up with these people?” and “What did I do wrong?” Is it
Karma?
Journal
when you can, particularly when in difficult, long term, disconcerting
situations. When recording thoughts, be open to contemplation breaks and spontaneous
stillness periods. Listen for helpful thoughts and/or images/visions to record
them; write or draw, which are seeds for solutions, of the current problem – or
others in the future. The value may not be immediately recognized, which is why
it is important to review your journals more than for the Steps review periods.
When
you go on a trip or for vacation, instead of taking a book or magazine, or reading
electronically, take some older journals and “read yourself.”
Let
us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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