Today: Step 128 - My Teachers are with me. I need not fear.
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| My Teachers are with me. I need not fear. Step 128 |
YOUR
INNER TEACHERS ARE WITH YOU, and you need not fear. If you have sufficient
confidence in Knowledge, based upon actual experience, and sufficient
confidence in the presence of your Teachers, based upon actual experience, this will give you a certainty
and a faith in life that will counteract all fear that is unnecessary. This
will leave your mind at ease.
ONLY
CONCERN THAT YOUR KNOWLEDGE is being violated will emanate from Knowledge, and
then only to indicate that you need to reassess your actions and ideas.
Knowledge has a self-correcting principle. That is why it is your Inner
Guidance. If you are going against your Knowledge, you will be ill at ease with
yourself, and this will give rise to anxiety. Much of the fear that you experience
moment to moment is simply a matter of your own creation, your own negative
imagination. But, then, there is fear that is born of the violation of
Knowledge. This is more a discomfort than a fear, for it rarely carries with it
any kind of imagery at all, though ideas can come into your mind as a form of
warning should you be attempting a behavior or a line of thinking that is
dangerous or destructive.
FEAR
THAT IS BORN OF NEGATIVE IMAGINATION comprises the vast majority of the fear
with which you entertain yourself. This you must learn to counteract, for it is
an inappropriate use of your mind. Here you create an experience for yourself,
experience it and then call it reality. Meanwhile, you have not been present
with life at all. You have merely been in fantasy within yourself. Negative
imagination drains you emotionally, physically and mentally. It can be
escalated to such heights that it can dominate your thinking altogether. For
how else can you be separate in the universe except in your own thoughts? You
cannot actually be separate from God. You cannot actually be separate from
Knowledge. You can only hide in your own thoughts and weave them together to
create a separate identity and experience for yourself which, though quite
demonstrative, are in fact completely an illusion.
IN
YOUR TWO MEDITATION PRACTICES TODAY, once again enter into stillness. Today
there will be no mental speculation or activity, for the mind will once again
come to rest so that it may experience its reality. Let not fear or anxiety
dissuade you. Remember, this is your negative imagination only. Only Knowledge
can indicate if you are doing something inappropriate, and that will only be in
the face of immediate events. You will find that this is quite different from
negative imagination and will require a different response from you.
PRACTICE
128: Two 30-minute practice periods.
Picture: This Step
concerns dealing with fear, so it took much thought to find in my collection a
picture that had any hint of fear. In real life, no one was injured nor was
there great property damage in this particular incident. Many situations can
cause fear to arise. Are they ones The Teachers can deal with? These are
experiences we may have already had, or experienced vicariously, and/or for
which we might need to “be prepared.” They are not necessarily physical alone,
or primarily mental. A kind toughness may be what is needed
From the journal Step
127 - Today I will not try to get even with God.
This picture is not of a statute representing
God, but the traffic cone on the head of this statue is the sort of
disrespectful action young people do to be funny. History has not been fair –
they want to get even with life and may be carrying anger. Nobody on the street
is taking notice. This is from Glasgow, Scotland, September 11, 2004.
Sunday,
December 24, 2000
1:45
a.m. …
It
seems I should be going faster. I don't know where I'm going or how I'm getting
there. I just try to be peaceful.
The
text says "Do not try to get even with God by ruining your relationships
for your own selfish purposes, …."
By
ruining the relationship with Cindy – I’d get out of that; creating losses…other
places.
"Therefore,
accept that you have lost the battle against God."
Have
I've been trying to get even with G O D?
>
I can't ruin creation, evil/Satan cannot ruin creation – How can I have so much
and be angry at God? It is my idealism, my perfectionism. The biological is
functional – it is an evolutionary product of design iteration.
The
mind produces cultural evolution.
That
is where intelligence often goes astray.
It…
Science
tells us about the physical
Spirituality
is about relationships.
2:25
p.m. Back from Chapel – today visiting for the first time in perhaps 9 months.
It
was good to see people again, and to exchange hugs. It felt good – but not as
much of my spiritual home is in the past. I said to Suwaylu – it was good to be
home…but I know that it is a node – serving as an earth waystation.
Will
I go again…I'll see how I feel next week. The people there might be S2K
students. I'll email the beginning steps to Nitya – He’s having relationship
problems.
Sue
was uplifting in her talk and action – one who loves God.
– It
is Christmas Eve – the holy season. Cindy is out delivering presents. I'm here
being me. I came home to eat – now over-eaten with chocolate. Taste buds and
stomach have a broken link – I observe. It can make my mind lethargic and not
of optimum service to my spirit, but who knows?
I
started practice #1 at 1:37 a.m. I don't know how good that was.
Step
127 – "today I will not tried to get even God." I stopped to read
this on the way back from TLC. The solution is to admit and accept my love for
God. I've done that 100 times, but not fully gotten to my soul. The text says:
Thinking
about this is directed with the goal being: to understand my personal belief
system and then the ability to work with it.
I am
not to accept the structure, but to learn to live with it – the structure is an
outward manifestation of mind that has been imposed by me.
→The "real
inward harmony and nature seeks only to be expressed."
I
have to work toward an adequate structure for the mind to support itself.
So –
the way I get to have a structure which enables my mind to express itself in
the physical world w/o restraint or distortion, is to do this practice.
I,
Thomas Joseph Christoffel, love God.
I,
Thomas Joseph Christoffel, love and seek to serve God.
3:35
p.m. I, TJC, love God…but do not Know where I am.
3:45
p.m. I'm reading ahead on the lessons. I've done this before periods since I've
been through this Steps once – and did not/could not get it all, I feel I've
laid a foundation. I want to retrace it and find what is loose, unconnected, so
that I can better Know and be Known to my spiritual family, guides, teachers. I
have this time and space, this afternoon. I devote it to my love for God. I
feel that the best way to help those around me, those that depend upon me for
consider me father, husband, friend – is to be with Knowledge.
→What are my
needs? I need to contribute that which I am meant to contribute. That is my
only need. I need that which allows me to fit in the world and have a potential
to contribute.
→Do I have
wishes? I want my children, David & Sarah, to be effective in their lives –
to have peace, joy, love. I can live if they don't, but I am disappointed…even
lost at times. It drains my finances – if we are to be practical. Yes – it is a
need.
4:49
p.m. At the car-wash. I read ahead 2 weeks – to the 20th week, beyond which
there is more focus. I seek this relationship with God and I want to serve.
I'll be patient in body, mind and spirit.
11:50
p.m. Watching TV – C-SPAN
– Bowling Alone – Robert Putnam – What can be done for community?
12:42
a.m. December 25, 2000
More
communication – less intimate community, more generic community. The distance –
density of settlement in U. S. – less physical proximity – less traditional
community.
It was "Greater Community Spirituality," that phrase which struck me when I say the Society's display in 1997. That summed up what my work was intending. After becoming a student of Knowledge, I paid even greater attention to what was being expressed in the world. Robert Putnam's work has been inspirational to me.
Because I have time, I can write more in this
period. What should I include or leave out in this personal history? It may be
I put too much in, but you, the reader, can skip ahead. Growth is actually a slow
process. Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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