x2 Step 139 – I have come to the world to serve. Journal - Step 138

Today: Step 139 - I have come to the world to serve. (MP3)

 

“I have come to the world to serve.” Step 139

YOU HAVE COME TO THE WORLD TO SERVE, but first you must receive. First, you must unlearn what you have taught yourself so that you may reclaim that which you have brought with you. This preparation is essential for your success and for your happiness as well. Do not think that through understanding alone you will be able to recognize and give your true gifts. Your participation is your preparation, for you are being prepared to participate in life. Thus, we draw you more and more into the mystery of life and the manifestation of life. In this way, you will be able to treat the mystery as mysterious with wonder and you will be able to treat the manifestation of life practically and with objectivity. With this, you will be able to be a bridge from your Ancient Home to the manifest world. Across this bridge the Wisdom of Knowledge may express itself, and you may find your greatest fulfillment.

PRACTICE YOUR RAHN MEDITATION TWICE TODAY with great depth and concentration, and remember your idea upon the hour so that you may utilize all occurrences today on your own behalf.

PRACTICE 139: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Note the challenge: “First, you must unlearn what you have taught yourself so that you may reclaim that which you have brought with you.” This is the process underway now in the Steps. Is it to your benefit? It was for me – that is my witness. Is life perfect? No, but it has become much better. 

Picture:  Ladder truck extending help in Glasgow , Scotland.

From the journal Step 138 - I need only follow the steps as they are given.

7:57 p.m. Thursday, January 4, 2001 --- At work, the new desks arrived. Looks nice – where's the money coming from? They'll be broke soon.

My watch vibrates at 8 p.m. The Step today – I need only follow the steps as they are given.

12:50 a.m. Friday, January 5, 2001 – An angry night – over eating/two bottles of wine – Which practice is this? Insanity?

The office moves forward and I remain lost. GCW says the only thing is work. I've worked all my life and wait for the recognition that will not come. Review: I see myself at a train track – waiting for the train. I have enough now, but tomorrow see nothing. I can't help my kids, or myself.

This all seems to count, but does it?

Everything feels like a mistake, but nowhere along the way do I see a viable exit I might have taken. ---

Adversity has made me strongly weak – Here –

1:30 a.m. I feel guilty. I was provided for…my life has gone OK – but I've not done as well as I might getting financial freedom. The way I live is a model for no one.

I was provided for by the people of Wisconsin/Two Rivers but that was not done for David & Sarah – my kids.

---

Yes, I had a vibrating watch that could be set to do so on the hour. Technology was primitive then – year 2001. Some watches had hourly chimes, but then – only pagers which vibrated and very few cell phones. The world was not used to random noises. A good “pity party” this day. I don’t think those were 750 ML bottles of wine. I never have been able to drink that much. They were just splits - 187.5 ml. You may have bad days. Putting them in the journal honestly lets you laugh at them later. Let us continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.