x2 Step 144 - I will honor myself today. – Journal – Step 143

Today: Step 144 - I will honor myself today. (MP3)

“I will honor myself today.” Step 144

HONOR YOURSELF BECAUSE OF YOUR HERITAGE, because of your destiny and because of your purpose. Honor yourself because life honors you. Honor yourself because God is honored in God’s Creation in you. This eclipses all the evaluations that you have made upon yourself. This is greater than any criticism that you have   levied against yourself. This is greater than any pride that you have used to offset your pain.

IN SIMPLICITY AND HUMILITY REMIND YOURSELF upon the hour to honor yourself. In your two deeper practices today, allow yourself to experience the presence of Knowledge, for this honors you and honors Knowledge as well. Honor yourself this day so that Knowledge may be honored, for in reality you are Knowledge. This is your True Self, but it is a Self that you are only now beginning to reclaim.

PRACTICE 144: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Honoring oneself with a hot fudge sundae – is this picture appropriate for Step 144?

GCW – I, Chapter 21 ENDURING HAPPINESS, page 145:

“It does not mean that you become an ascetic and give up all things .That is ridiculous. That is only for very specialized individuals.”

GCW-II, Chapter 23 BECOMING WISE, page 147:“

What does it mean to become wise? How do you discern Wisdom in another? What are the results of achieving this state of mind and readiness? Of course, people have many images associated with Wisdom. It is often associated with asceticism or self-sacrifice, loneliness, suffering, mystery or an inexplicable quality in others. It is often held in very high regard, but in such a way that people feel that it is quite remote from them and quite beyond their reach or grasp.

Treating oneself well is a way to honor oneself. Of course, you need the resources for it. But when it is not an excuse to indulge, well it isn’t prohibited. This picture is from Prague, a spring day in 2008. I did enjoy the moment.

Yesterday: Step 143 - Today I will be still.

From the journal Step 143 – Today I will be still.

10:30 a.m. Tuesday, January 9, 2000 –

My mind is imploding on itself. I'm returning from jury duty selection where I was struck. The whole issue of David's treatment came to mind and my resentment of the process and his attorney is still being felt. It flows back to M.E., her leaving, the problems – my whole life. I'm too lazy to be here? I'm oversensitive and can't handle manifestation? The gap between what people want (public transportation) and the reality of the do-able is scary. How will the planet work? Where can I find a job/make a job that brings a new perspective?

11:10 a.m. I truly love God and seek to Know so that I can serve and contribute for my physical, spiritual and universal families.

6:45 p.m. By this time of the day I'm tired. Bodies are work – I'm not too in tune with mine – except pleasure – food. I called David to say they could take Jamie's income tax return and pay M.E. ahead on the house payment – and repay me later.

8:22 p.m. Tired or depressed? Too weak for the world? Lacking a compelling project? Waiting for Knowledge to take hold? I'm not happy in the world…and it doesn't look like it's going to change

How did I ever get here?

9:15 p.m. Reading CH 11 – Power & Responsibility – What bothers me so is the loss of opportunity – things that people don't see. I focused on contribution, but alienated others and was betrayed – so, where am I? Took lots of risks – and paid for that.

11:52 p.m. My time is wasting away? Or I'm a slow learner? GCW I says the next step from here is to be a teacher – and communicate to "earth spell" bound beings like me right now. Isn't that depressing.

It is hard enough raising kids – and self – but through the veil – how frustrating.

Processing, processing, processing. Will I ever make progress? Have I made progress, but not realized it? The same for any of us, though some lives have more drama than others. Hot fudge sundaes are great, as is good coffee, but is that reason enough to incarnate? Some days it is. Let us continue.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.