x2 Step 347 - I allow my life to unfold today. – Journal – Step 346

Today:  Step 347 - I allow my life to unfold today. (MP3)

I allow my life to unfold today. Step 347

ALLOW YOUR LIFE TO UNFOLD TODAY. Without your own internal disorientation, without the darkness of your own imagination and without your own confusion and conflicts, you may bear witness to the unfolding of your life. Today represents a step in the unfoldment of your life, in the emergence of your Knowledge, in the cultivation of your true comprehension and in the expression of your true accomplishments. Be attentive this day and learn to observe your outer life and your inner life objectively. In this way, you may experience what is truly there, and you will love what is truly there, for what is truly there is true and reflects love itself.

UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF to observe your life unfolding. Within your deeper meditation practices, in stillness and receptivity, observe your inner life unfolding. Observe your outer life and inner life unfolding together as they must. Here you will feel the movement of your life. Here you will know that your life is being guided and directed. Here you will know that all things that you truly value and hold most dear and everything that we have indicated in our preparation thus far are coming into being. Here you allow certain things to fall away and certain things to emerge. Here you govern the part of your life which is yours to govern, which is your thinking and behavior. Here you allow that part of your life which you cannot govern, which is your purpose, meaning and direction, to naturally emerge and express itself. Here you bear witness to your life, which this day is emerging and unfolding.

PRACTICE 347: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

From the journal:  Step 346 - I am in the world to work.

6:55 a.m. Tuesday, July 31, 2001 – Back to work

The Step – 346 is "I am in the world to work". Today/last night was pain – the pain of being helpless to help David or Sarah. David is going to lose his truck today. He's been a slow learner. (As have I – 8/31/02) Things were too easy? Who knows? Join the zombie workforce.

Practice – "Your true work in the world is to discover your Knowledge and allow it to express itself through you".

Review my attitudes – Ambivalence began to set in in 1995 with relationship burnout. I thought my work was spiritual.

If life is all about relationships, why do I want to isolate? I would seem to limit my opportunities. I've moved in my ideas RI, CRC – and am between places, yet learning constantly. The truth of the need for cooperation grows. I seek to express that.

3:03 p.m. I am angry about being here as the systems I created are destroyed. The room for waste is enormous – a sight to see.

8:50 p.m. At home – Looked for "The Only Planet of Choice" [book] – couldn't find it.

Bad at relationship/that's where I've been for the past 10 – 15 years?

Why didn't I go to college sooner? Why didn't I get my ideas until 1997 – 98? Why am I depressed and tired? Why? Why? Why?

What people think can be of little importance as I muddle through my work.

C-SPAN today – an author speaking of heredity – "Nature uses what it has".

Practice #2 "I am in the world to work". I have worked all my life. I've sought God all my life. I have been involved in learning all my life. In my work I've produced results – and been un-thanked for it. The Commission still lives on my work. I'm now a slave to the retirement needs.

Even though the unburdening has freed me from some work in order to do that which only I understand, it remains painful.

Cindy's ability to be on her own is good – it gives me time, but her attitude has been off and on negative that I'd been better without her.

I continue to work, and be overcommitted, and fearful of loss.

The work I need to do with my mind is an enormous challenge. I have to learn database, GIS, more of a spreadsheet – and geography…still a beginner…

Making progress going through a meat grinder, that is how it feels some days. Let us continue.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.