x2 Step 103 – Journal Step 102 - There is much I must unlearn.

Today: Step 103 - I am honored by God. (MP3)

I am honored by God. Step 103

YOU ARE HONORED BY GOD, and yet this statement can inflame your sense of uncertainty, arouse your sense of guilt, confuse your sense of pride and stimulate all manner of conflict that actually exists within you now. In the past you have attempted to be something unreal, and it has failed you. Now you are afraid to be anything for fear that failure will pursue you once again. Thus, greatness appears to be littleness and littleness appears to be greatness, and all things are seen backwards or reversed from their true meaning.

YOU ARE HONORED BY GOD whether you can accept this or not. It is true regardless of human evaluation, for only things that are beyond evaluation are true. We are taking you to that which is beyond evaluation, which will be the greatest discovery possible in this life or in any life.

UPON THE HOUR REPEAT THIS STATEMENT and consider it seriously. In your two practice periods, allow your mind once again to be still and receptive so that you may learn to receive the honor that God has for you. Surely, this honor must be directed towards a part of you that you are barely aware of. It is not your behavior that is honored. It is not your idealism that is honored. It is not your beliefs, your assumptions, your demands or your fears. These may be for good or for ill. These may serve you or betray you. But honor is reserved for something greater, which you are now learning to recognize.

PRACTICE 103: Two 30-minute practice periods.

Hourly practice.

Picture:  Sunlight on the trail in the Shenandoah National Park.

From the journal Step 102 - There is much I must unlearn.

November 29, 2000 – Wednesday

12:45 a.m. Thursday, November 30

– Water Supply and River Recreation came home@10:15 p.m. – Brought some wine & crackers for a cheese party. After River Rec. ran until 9:40 PM. I felt/said "screw the Buddha – no meditation, I wanted medication, so the past 3 hours – the old Tom – S2K – much to unlearn lived.

I remain crazed, dazed and confused.

STRESSFUL DAY obviously, as I look back to read the journal. I concluded that I was living: “much to unlearn.” You may have such days in your own way, as you do the Steps.  Obviously I stuck with the program, but on November 29, 2000 I had no patience for the Buddha or meditation. Let us continue.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.