Today: Step 98 - Review (MP3)
Greetings All –
From the journal Step
97 - I do not know what fulfillment is.
 |
| "I do not know what fulfillment is." Step 97 |
Thursday,
November 23, 2000
11:10
p.m. Step 97 – "I do not know what fulfillment is."
If I
could be anything, I'd choose to be a musician – the fact that I've not got the
talent nor that I've taken the time to learn – irritates me. Why do I have no
time? Is it because Spiritual search is my hobby? I collect books – there are
no people with which to speak – out here, I’m like Mom in Wisconsin. Stranger in a
Strange land.
→ Friday – what
do I do? – Number my journals? Put email addresses in the computer, propose a
presentation @ WFS – rake leaves, go to the
office?
These
things might fulfill me – but I don’t know what fulfillment is.
S2K says fulfillment is:
1) a state of quietude
2) a state of inner acceptance
3) a state of total integration
4) a timeless state expressing itself in
time.
–
Apply today’s idea to the plans that you are aware of concerning your own
fulfillment.
[S2K
is teaching a way of seeing the world so that you can learn of its (the world)
true purpose.]
→ What is the
true purpose of the world? The play out of creation. Some times the play is
painful, abusive, ugly, treacherous, unstable, limiting, illusory, unconscious,
unhealthy
What
plans do I have for my fulfillment? I had planned to take the message of
regional cooperation to the world in my retirement. Events speeded that up and
now I’ve got to work to articulate what I’m learning. I’m – slow/lazy about
this.
I’ve
pages of material, but haven’t written. They hour a day with S2K could go to
writing, but that wouldn’t get me 2 K.
The
description of the elements of fulfillment on the prior page are what I
experience in the woods.
…
12:15
a.m. Friday, November 24, 2000
I
feel fulfillment in the woods. Perhaps I’m a tree spirit – in a human body
8:40
a.m. Friday – @ Regional Intelligence fulfillment day 2
My
view in the first run, was quite different – it was more looking @ relationships
10:16
a.m. I can’t fulfill my mission @ the PDC. RI – my absolute focus as a method
to develop awareness of greater community.
Step
97 – Practice #2 “You must understand what you have in order to learn to
receive more.”
1:55
p.m. I have incredible wealth and freedom. Am I using it well? Not really,
because I didn’t know where the earth is going. From my regional perspective,
trying to understand the local/regional divide – and finding it arbitrary, I
came to the local planet perspective. Greater Community perspective fills in
the target, the trajectory and the need, our emergence into Greater Community.
I’m a foot soldier/scout on this path, a simpleton perhaps to the powers that
be – and the theoreticians.
I
sense of meaning, direction, purpose…but I’m distracted by food, music,
pleasures and agonies of current relationships. There are no Clubs of the
Future, packs of individuals with my vision of “wholes.”
Statistically
these people must be out there. My pleasure distractions burn time, yet it is
from within these gaps that thoughts have emerged. I’m fed a constant stream of
ideas.
Making
sense of them – writing to publish…is where I need help. An editor would be
nice, if I had something to edit.
We
need so many gadgets because our lives are un-rich? Yet the economics and
technology have made the world so small. The cultures are cramping in on one
another.
I do
not know what fulfillment is! In earth terms, U.S.A. 1946 – 2000, it is for a
man – marriage, family, children, career leading to status and wealth, while
being kind to neighbors, other children, animals, and contributing to
charity/giving time and money, such as through charity. All taken together,
that is as good as it gets.
Fulfillment
to date for me has been finding my spiritual nature through experiences of
family, education, Navy, marriage, career, parenting, divorce, re-marriage,
career attack, and recovery, and greater community perspective. As I’m
approaching 1/3 through on the 2nd time, I’m getting more focused.
This growth is slow. It seems it should be going faster…but it’s not – so I’ll
accept my slow learning.
→ Regions – every
local government is part of several regions or can be. One is its government
services region(s) the more standardized; the better it is for delivery and
efficiency. Second is its labor market region – the labor draw area for local
companies and/or the exported labor zone. Then there’s the retail/tourism
market region – which can be the whole planet and the manufacturing product
export region.
8:54
p.m. Back from our Friday night pizza at the mall date. Here in my study – I
read and seek my fulfillment in the world. I am a nerd – and like what I do –
and music – and spiritual study – seeking the ultimate systems. I might do a
business if I can find a hook.
→ Front Royal –
The Epicenter of nothing.
12:13
a.m. Saturday, November 25, 2000 –
Going
to bed now, I feel that this Friday I’ve made some S2K headway – and RI
movement because I can let myself have a simpler life and write – here and
there – out into the world.
As
of this day, I Know the progression of lessons, I know what lies ahead, I know
the goal is to be at home in the world and experience K here and contribute.
It
shall be done.
Another
in-depth entry. It may be a bit too much to read, but I’m just sharing my
journey. It may live on the Internet for decades and help someone who is
struggling though Steps have a little reference. In this case, Step 97 started
early on Thursday and went on past Midnight on Friday to finish Saturday a.m.
Because I know something of the trajectory of the Steps, I can dig in and move
around as makes sense. Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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