x2 Step 109 – Journal Step 108 - Happiness is something I must learn again.

Today:  Step 109 - I will not be in a hurry today. (MP3)

I will not be in a hurry today. Step 109

TODAY TAKE EACH STEP GRACEFULLY. Do not be in a hurry. You need not be in a hurry because you are with Knowledge. You may keep your appointments in the world and keep them on schedule, but within yourself do not be in a hurry. You may seek Knowledge, fulfillment and contribution, but do not be in a hurry. When you are in a hurry, you are neglecting your current step for steps you find more preferable, and how can steps be more preferable except when you are ignoring the step in front of you? You need only take the step in front of you, and the next step will arise naturally. Do not be in a hurry. You cannot go faster than you can go. Do not miss all that we are giving you to practice, which will require that you not be in a hurry.

THROUGHOUT THE DAY TODAY REMIND YOURSELF upon the hour not to be in a hurry. Say to yourself, “I will not be in a hurry today,” and think a moment upon this. You may meet your worldly responsibilities without being in a hurry. You may meet your greater goals without being in a hurry. Take comfort in the fact that you are a beginning student, for beginning students do not know where they are going because they are in a position to receive, not to govern. This is a great blessing for you now and will give you the power in time to govern your mind and your affairs with Knowledge. You will be a kind ruler who will not condemn error and will not punish sinners, as you now imagine God to do.

KNOWLEDGE IS NOT IN A HURRY. Why should you be? Knowledge may move you quickly or slowly. You may then move quickly or slowly, but within yourself you are not in a hurry. This is part of the mystery of life which you can now learn to discover.

PRACTICE 109: Hourly practice.

Picture:  U.S. Route 55, Warren County, Virginia.

From the journal Step 108 - Happiness is something I must learn again.

12:30 p.m. December 5, Tuesday, Step 108 – Happiness is something I must learn again.

What do I think; have I thought of as happiness? Mom's comment is always, "I just want you to be happy" and I say, "Show me how by your own behavior."

I'm satisfied that my work, my contribution is getting results, though it has not made me happy externally – in the people around me were not happy and blamed me. In spite of my work on relationships, the close ones only seem to get worse. I'm happy often and being engaged with my spirit in my work and receipt of insights.

The material items of home, car, wealth don't exist @ a high level. People, on the one hand, focus on perfection in one area, and yet are sloppy – non-performing others.

– Things I do to de-stress, laugh, are: watch TV, eat chocolate or cheese, drink wine or bourbon or beer; I sometimes drum or walk @ night. I watch car races or surf mindlessly. Coffee & tea are comforts.

These are things I do to change my mood when I'm unhappy, which is not all the time, sometimes it is just a reward.

Happy is generally "feeling no pain,” that's not what is sought here.

As Spirit, in an ultimate sense, just to be conscious – aware from nothing and one with creation is the beginning and end of happiness – though it’s really w/o end.

So if my body & mind serve spirit, it is they who can be limited and feeling pain, but spirit sees that is just another experience. Both pain and joy can be @ the surface of life experience – and happy to be – might be →is the real spirit.

It is not a matter of not letting them get to your soul – it is a matter of Knowing it can't be done…though body and mind can be snapped/crushed/destroyed.

I don't know if this is what I feel or that I'm thinking I should feel. [It is truth – 12/17/00 Review] 

8:20 p.m. Quite a day…thus far. About 11:05 a.m. on my way to the chiropractor I had a sense I might not get my money back on David's truck. When I called David's work phone, the guy who answered said he didn't work there anymore. My first concern was that he would be depressed and suicidal. He called about 7 p.m. to talk. The guy owed him money and wouldn't pay. He was already looking for a job and was focused. He’d been to a church and was seeking Knowledge [in a Christian Church – not as S2K student]. M.E. was no help.

I was not worried about my money, in fact I was happy that David felt so positive. I can only encourage him. He is awake now – focused on the kids and keeping them in daycare.

So – Step 108 – Practice #2 – Text says: “All things must now be seen anew, for there is looking with Knowledge and there is looking without Knowledge.” Seeing/hearing David with Knowledge was easy now – for he had awakened. All the other times I had to look with faith, since his actions were self-defeating/creating his problems.

I see movement in my kids lives as they face the world. I’ve been most happy when I could be there emotionally, listening supportively – for my kids – and others.

If I understand the challenging nature of the world by seeing with Knowledge that it grows my soul and that of others, then I can be happy.

So – what has my mind’s eye seen – a play out of abusive situations. Such can happen in the world.

My happiness must have at its source the simple “I am” for w/o that _____ there’s nothing, not even a blank line.

The text warns against being content with simple conclusions. I don’t know if these are simple or not.

Wordy today. If you read it all, I hope you got something out of it. Thought is required to apply the teachings in our own lives. Let us continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.