x2 Step 93 – Journal Step 92 - There is a role for me to play in the world.

Today: Step 93 - I am sent here for a purpose. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 92 - There is a role for me to play in the world.

"There is a role for me to play in the world." Step 92

 Sunday, November 19, 2000

8:20 a.m. Let my true direction emerge. Plan Do-er - the plan is embedded – we must work to unearth it, have it emerge.

Is all life Good, as illusions go, w/o polarity of Bad – it is all Good/lesser good – or being "led not into temptation" or "let not into temptation?"

Where are you on the illusion curve? (Space is curved)

Value is created by the motion? Stock value is created or is it enhanced by emotion.

– Grief, anger, recovery is my current path.

– I trust the planning process – and thus the River Recreation Plan goes forward

– My people were not me…and I judged them for not having my mission. I was wrong – the market was too thin, I tried to do too much. These errors created lessons. I thought I was listening, but I wasn't hearing. I'll need people always, so…I need to understand.

Results are always in need of adjustment. Even that we live is good and successful.

– trying to make symphonies with a rock trio.

As a continuation then, of this healing a.m. dialogue Step 92 – "There is a role for me to play in the world."

9:25 a.m. End of practice #1 – I am playing my role in the world and it is continuing to emerge. I am feeling more in my meditations – and just now had the thought that my true self resides in stillness with the creator/God – or is rooted there – My True Self is rooted in the Stillness of the Creator.

What is my goal? In 1977, as Steve M… was working on the Front Royal Zoning Ordinance, I said I wanted him to make sure I could do lawnmower repair out of my garage.

8:24 p.m. In David's room – the world headquarters for "regional intelligence." The day started well, but Cindy was funky on rising – and much of the morning was appeasement and damage control. Energy drained…I got through the day. The U.S.A. would seem to be doing fine. Bush & Gore election not settled, but that's only irritating.

It takes energy out of my being, and then I can't do anything to build R. I.

I sent cards & checks to the kids for Thanksgiving. For many years and on many days, the only reason to stay is to not disappoint them.

So much of the world is irrelevant to my view. Perhaps I'm isolated and have missed something, many things.

9:55 p.m. Sunday night depression. Why? There is so much to do. The issues of planning & development – regions and cooperation. How can I write my vision when my emotions sidetrack me so quickly – in my partner's moods bomb me?

11:45 p.m. Maya Lin [Designer of the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial] – on C-SPAN – Maps are inherently political – and we have to be careful of the perspective.

Author: Boundaries

12:10 a.m. Monday, November 20, 2000 – Very inspiring to hear Maya Lin talk about her art and the planet.

It was critical that I see this show in spirit made sure I did.

Am I growing or am I dying? It is felt the latter, that I was dying, but I feel more that I need to continue growing, growing along with my brothers and sisters to unite humanity in these and future times – Amen & Amen.

I am an artist and could have gone to the City but I am the artist of regions and needed the laboratory and studio of the Shenandoah Valley. For this I am grateful.

Amen & Amen

The journal was full today. A real dump of emotion and needs. Ugly, pathetic and sad, but going forward in our own mental environment is required and something the Practices, when followed can achieve. There are many healing modalities that the world offers. Some of them you may have tried. Steps to Knowledge, as a practice is, Puritanical. It does not seek to comfort the “inner child,” but strengthen the “inner adult.” There are too few real adults in the world today. Too many of adult size are self-indulgent, meeting their needs is priority one.

Your journal entry may be more or less ugly than mine. It is not a competition, but we do want to become “at home in the world.” Reference is made to Plan Do-er  which is the personal planning process I developed in the 1980’s and taught for a while in the 1990’s. The workbook can be downloaded at this link.

I used those processes which had given me insight into my life as I tried to develop a plan for my life. It was in these exercised I recognized at age 30 the importance of spirituality in my life. It will take some time to complete, but may give some insight into your life goals and enable you to develop a time, energy and financial budget for to achieve your emerging life goals. Let us continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.