Today: Step 96 - God's Will is for me to be unburdened. (MP3)
Greetings All –
From the journal Step
95 - How can I possibly fulfill myself?
 |
| "How can I possibly fulfill myself?" Step 95 |
12:25
a.m. Wednesday, November 22, 2000 –
Step
95 – How can I possibly fulfill myself?
"There
is no fulfillment here, only increasing confusion."
"Only
in imagination can you fulfill yourself otherwise, and imagination is not
reality."
What
am I that can be fulfilled?
– people
trying to fulfill themselves separates them from life as it truly is;…this
separates them from the mystery of their own existence, and the wonder of life
they are free to encounter every day.
– in
stillness & receptivity learn to receive fulfillment as it really exists.
8:32
a.m. Wednesday continues – The Step today is unique – understanding that
fulfillment in manifestation is only illusion/imagination and insatiable – get
life around is fulfilled simply by being w/o question.
Symptoms
are models which attempt to explain life – but the explanation is not life.
Pain and death are risks of manifest life – but apparently they can't get the
soul – though spirit trauma can be experienced.
6:55
p.m. Came home @ 5:30 p.m. A burned out day… getting notice out for meetings.
Very little work is being done. Much is at risk. I'm learning? Don't know.
Fulfillment is the challenge. There's RI work I'd like to do…but I'm so burned
out…I have to veg in order to meditate. Step 95 asks: How can I possibly
fulfill myself when
1) I don't know who I am will
2) I don't know where I've come from
3) I don't know where I'm going
4) I don't know who sent me
5) I don't know who will be waiting when I
return.
6) When I am part of life, how can I fulfill
myself alone?
The
idea of fulfilling myself can only be entertained in fantasy and imagination –
and ultimately lead to more confusion.
Note:
As life goes on I don't/haven't become more sure. I still feel young and
unknowing, where as many act like they have all the answers.
My
agenda for fulfillment must be brought into question to relieve the burden by
accepting that it is hopeless.
Trying
to fulfill self in current or future situations – separates people from
"the mystery of their own existence and the wonder of life that they are
free to encounter every moment of every day."
7:45
p.m. How can I possibly fulfill myself? I can't, but revealing regional
intelligence is a contribution I can make life.
Midnight
LTWOK – Work Always.
We’ve been over this ground before. This is the
second or more time we’ve done this Step. Why is this so challenging? Order
fulfillment is a common retail metric. You order an item; it is sent to you.
Your order is fulfilled, but did that thing you bought fulfill you? Only in a
minor sense. Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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