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Knowledge is my salvation. Step 276
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KNOWLEDGE IS YOUR SALVATION, for it leads you out
of your hopeless predicament which is born of attempting to live in fantasy and
imagination. It leads you into the brightness and the clarity of reality. It
guides your action and your thinking so that both may be effective and lead to
true self-realization. Thus, God has given you the greatest possible gift: the
means within yourself to correct all error, to resolve all confusion and
conflict and to set your life on a true course that is aimed at your true
destiny. Here you become empowered and honored and your self-worth is
reclaimed. It is your value that must be reclaimed to you. God does not require
that God’s value be reclaimed, for it has never been lost. But your value to
yourself has been lost, and this can only be reclaimed by following a Greater
Plan not of your own making, but which has been created for your total welfare.
WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE has been
wasted in ambivalence and how few results that has produced, then you will
recognize the great need for Knowledge. This will give you the strength and the
conviction to proceed in your preparation with the greatest possible
self-involvement. Once you recognize your true need, then you will be able to
recognize the true remedy that has been provided.
THUS, YOU AS A STUDENT OF KNOWLEDGE WILL REALIZE
with clarity of mind and simplicity of truth exactly what is necessary, for
Knowledge is your salvation. Remember this upon the hour and think of it in
light of your recent practices. In your deeper meditations, allow yourself to
enter stillness completely, recognizing that you are engaging yourself with the
means for your own salvation and through you the salvation of the world.
PRACTICE 276: Two 30-minute practice periods.
Hourly practice.
From the journal:
12:26
a.m. Monday, May 21, 2001. At the end of the week I'll be spending my first
time with other students. Earlier this evening I was funked out – 8th – 9 p.m.
Paying bills, sorting through paper. My stocks have moved up – so I took some
time allocating a little more money – … – for momentum. Listened to Yeas
& Nays – I did feel better that they moved.
I
got a copy of “Total Fitness” – the book that got me fit in 1976 – still makes
sense… I'll try it. I know it works – it's just whether or not I injure myself
doing too much.
12:46
a.m. I woke up thinking about things regional – but nothing to record. The time
frame for spirit is so different that the manifestation time is longer than it
seems – that's why faith is required.
Meaning,
purpose, direction – regional community. It is my compassion. The GCW reading
on compassion is that we need it for ourselves.
9:13
a.m. – Dis-integration – I'm seeing it as we go from one-cell to many – The
data does not work together as the computer files are disintegrated. Separation
begins. The world can't deal with "wholes" so they must be
compartmentalized. And separated. Once separated are we lost?
<a
universe of nested holes – atom – cell – … – … omniverse>
God/the
creation was once whole – we are spun out of it.
Today
I experienced disintegration of what was once whole.
Once
disintegrated – you need to be much larger to have the same efficiency as being
integrated. The learning is simplified/specialized – each does their part.
→ The piece goes from being a flute melody to an
orchestral performance – folk music to Symphony –
→ Sunday a.m. – my musical/regional thoughts –
Was
I an instrument in the orchestra – or the conductor?
→ No – now I'm more the composer of a regional symphony
– how do the pieces of the orchestra work together? The elements of the region
– strings – sophisticated core – percussion, the hinterlands – brass – the
upstarts – new growth areas –
>
composer of the regional score – the Mass Choir, Symphony –
→ Not the leader of the band – little Tommy’s
goal/outcome
11:48
p.m. A rough day? I did my 1st practice @1 AM. – For the past few days my
teachers have made a deal – no wine or beer and I only need to do one session.
Sunday I did it in the afternoon coming back from Manassas @ 6:30 p.m. I
couldn't do a.m. – we went to Chapel. Tonight I worked until 9 p.m. getting the
Data users #13 out. From 2:30 p.m. Until 6 p.m. it was dealing with Sarah being
in jail – she didn't show up in court for speeding ticket. The police picked
her up. She had called in the a.m. to have me talk to George and explain he had
to pick up/help clean up the house, I did – he feigned hearing.
Tonight
wine would have been fine – I had to go to the store. I didn't buy any –
expecting to be able to do practice #2 by 11:30 p.m. – but it didn't happen –
so I take the deal.
The
Step 275 is "Today I seek freedom from a certainty". That I've surely
done this day.
Was I a mess at this time? Reads like it - making
deals: For the past few days my teachers have made a deal – no wine or beer and
I only need to do one session. Changing behavior; changing one’s self-medication – can take a very long
time. Stick with the promise of Steps. Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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