Thursday, October 1, 2015

x2 Step 274 - I seek freedom from ambivalence today.– Journal – Step 273

Today:  Step 274 - I seek freedom from ambivalence today. (MP3)

I seek freedom from ambivalence today. Step 274

SEEK FREEDOM FROM AMBIVALENCE, for this is the source of all human confusion, misery and frustration. Ambivalence is the indecision about participating with life. It is the indecision about being in life. It is the indecision about being alive. From this indecision all manner of self-imposition, all manner of attack and all manner of confrontation are created. It is from this indecision that people live in fantasy without Knowledge.

BEWARE OF AMBIVALENCE THEN. It is a sign that you are functioning without Knowledge and that you are trying to make your decisions based purely upon speculation, personal preference and fear. It is decision making without foundation that leads humanity astray. It is decision making without foundation that has led you astray. Knowledge dispels ambivalence, for it sets a clear direction. It is unconcerned with choices and with deliberation, for it simply knows what is correct and leads you towards your fulfillment, step by step, with certainty and abiding conviction.

REMEMBER UPON THE HOUR THAT YOU WISH TO ESCAPE from ambivalence. Realize as you repeat your lesson how much of your life is wasted in trying to decide between this and that, in asking yourself, “What should I do now,” in querying yourself about what is right and what is wrong and in wondering and worrying about the best choice and its possible consequences. Knowledge liberates you from this taxing and wasteful application of your mind. Knowledge does not deliberate. It simply waits for the time to act and then it acts. It is absolutely certain in its direction. It is unshakable in its conviction. If you follow this, which is God’s greatest gift to you who live in the world of ambivalence and confusion, you will find that you will have purpose, meaning and direction and that day after day they will be very available to you.

IN YOUR DEEPER MEDITATIONS attempt to give yourself wholeheartedly to your practice. Do not be ambivalent about your practice. Do not hold back out of fear or uncertainty, for you are participating in this preparation because Knowledge has called you to do so, and every day you give yourself because Knowledge calls you to do so. Thus, as we proceed through our preparation together, your Knowledge is strengthened day by day, for it is the basis of your participation here. What other reason could you possibly have for becoming a student of Knowledge?

THEREFORE, IN YOUR DEEPER PRACTICES and in your hourly remembrances, strengthen your conviction that you must escape from ambivalence. Realize the deadly cost of ambivalence. See how it keeps people lost in their ideas, denying their engagement with life. See the human cost around you. It is tremendous. Realize that with certainty everyone will find their rightful place. The world will proceed without the friction that it now must bear. In this way, all things seek fulfillment together in inclusion in life. That is The Way of Knowledge.

PRACTICE 274: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

9 a.m. Saturday, May 19, 2001 – Step 273 – "My teachers hold the memory of my Ancient Home for me".

Ancient Home – an idea, a fantasy, a reality? As a soul – my existence started somewhere at some time. Intent created me – not knowing what I'd be. There is a soul DNA – like physical DNA?

In this environment – I'm the student/teacher. Ancient Home – my prodigal son memory. I've never felt well suited for this world. That may simply be my idealism – the physical/biodiversity – is amazing & beautiful yet higher intelligence is so dominating of the physical…

10:30 a.m. A de-motivation by overwhelm. Earth is an interesting place. Looking at the Washington Post entertainment section – lots is going on – music, dance, theater, movies – outdoor events, sports, cars – lots I might do…many issues. The human overlay – the built and man-inhabited environment. Build out to a bald planet

Human activity requires public infrastructure. If it's war, a defense infrastructure is needed. If it's trade/peace – another.

Experience the relationships. That is what Cindy does – that's one way she deals with the world.

Where are my friends for such interaction in the world? Here – this journal is the mirror, the record of the real relationship with my Teachers.

I write what I think and what I hear. I've noted before, upon rereading these journals, that I've been the scribe – the content was above my head.

Thus – appears I take my own counsel – that being my teachers.

This day I bring up the prodigal son story, which conveys for me part of our “separation problem”. We did leave heaven as souls, though something remains there, and sought our fortunes in the world, but things can go quite poorly and in fact we may feel trapped, enslaved. Then with thing of our home (Ancient Home?) which we can return to, but must ask and give up our supposed freedom.


Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.

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