Today: Step 274 - I seek freedom
from ambivalence today. (MP3)
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| I seek freedom from ambivalence today. Step 274 |
SEEK FREEDOM FROM AMBIVALENCE, for this is the
source of all human confusion, misery and frustration. Ambivalence is the indecision
about participating with life. It is the indecision about being in life. It is
the indecision about being alive. From this indecision all manner of
self-imposition, all manner of attack and all manner of confrontation are
created. It is from this indecision that people live in fantasy without
Knowledge.
BEWARE OF AMBIVALENCE THEN. It is a sign that you
are functioning without Knowledge and that you are trying to make your decisions
based purely upon speculation, personal preference and fear. It is decision
making without foundation that leads humanity astray. It is decision making
without foundation that has led you astray. Knowledge dispels ambivalence, for
it sets a clear direction. It is unconcerned with choices and with
deliberation, for it simply knows what is correct and leads you towards your
fulfillment, step by step, with certainty and abiding conviction.
REMEMBER UPON THE HOUR THAT YOU WISH TO ESCAPE from
ambivalence. Realize as you repeat your lesson how much of your life is wasted
in trying to decide between this and that, in asking yourself, “What should I
do now,” in querying yourself about what is right and what is wrong and in
wondering and worrying about the best choice and its possible consequences.
Knowledge liberates you from this taxing and wasteful application of your mind.
Knowledge does not deliberate. It simply waits for the time to act and then it
acts. It is absolutely certain in its direction. It is unshakable in its
conviction. If you follow this, which is God’s greatest gift to you who live in
the world of ambivalence and confusion, you will find that you will have purpose,
meaning and direction and that day after day they will be very available to
you.
IN YOUR DEEPER MEDITATIONS attempt to give yourself
wholeheartedly to your practice. Do not be ambivalent about your practice. Do
not hold back out of fear or uncertainty, for you are participating in this preparation
because Knowledge has called you to do so, and every day you give yourself
because Knowledge calls you to do so. Thus, as we proceed through our
preparation together, your Knowledge is strengthened day by day, for it is the
basis of your participation here. What other reason could you possibly have for
becoming a student of Knowledge?
THEREFORE, IN YOUR DEEPER PRACTICES and in your
hourly remembrances, strengthen your conviction that you must escape from ambivalence.
Realize the deadly cost of ambivalence. See how it keeps people lost in their
ideas, denying their engagement with life. See the human cost around you. It is
tremendous. Realize that with certainty everyone will find their rightful
place. The world will proceed without the friction that it now must bear. In
this way, all things seek fulfillment together in inclusion in life. That is
The Way of Knowledge.
PRACTICE 274: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
9 a.m.
Saturday, May 19, 2001 – Step 273 – "My teachers hold the memory of my
Ancient Home for me".
Ancient
Home – an idea, a fantasy, a reality? As a soul – my existence started
somewhere at some time. Intent created me – not knowing what I'd be. There is a
soul DNA – like physical DNA?
In
this environment – I'm the student/teacher. Ancient Home – my prodigal son
memory. I've never felt well suited for this world. That may simply be my
idealism – the physical/biodiversity – is amazing & beautiful yet higher
intelligence is so dominating of the physical…
10:30
a.m. A de-motivation by overwhelm. Earth is an interesting place. Looking at
the Washington Post entertainment section – lots is going on – music, dance,
theater, movies – outdoor events, sports, cars – lots I might do…many issues.
The human overlay – the built and man-inhabited environment. Build out to a
bald planet
Human
activity requires public infrastructure. If it's war, a defense infrastructure
is needed. If it's trade/peace – another.
Experience
the relationships. That is what Cindy does – that's one way she deals with the
world.
Where
are my friends for such interaction in the world? Here – this journal is the
mirror, the record of the real relationship with my Teachers.
I
write what I think and what I hear. I've
noted before, upon rereading these journals, that I've been the scribe – the
content was above my head.
Thus
– appears I take my own counsel – that being my teachers.
This day I bring up the prodigal son
story, which conveys for me part of our “separation problem”. We did leave
heaven as souls, though something remains there, and sought our fortunes in the
world, but things can go quite poorly and in fact we may feel trapped,
enslaved. Then with thing of our home (Ancient Home?) which we can return to,
but must ask and give up our supposed freedom.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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