CT Step 5 - I must find my true relationships in order to know my direction. – Journal – CT Step 4

Today:  CT Step 5 - I must find my true relationships in order to know my direction. (MP3)

I must find my true relationships in order to know my direction. CT Step 5

A critical part of your development is finding those individuals who are destined to share your greater work in the world. Finding them, then, can preoccupy the early stages of your development. In doing this, it is often necessary to leave other involvements that do not represent this greater purpose and destiny. For some people this can take many years to accomplish. Yet until you are free to find your true companions, then you must engage in this work, in this effort. And if you have been so fortunate to find even one of your true companions, then you have a new beginning in your life. Here your development and their development become really essential. Here you become accountable to more than just yourself. For you now practice for others as well as for your own advancement. Here failure means that you fail others as well as your Spiritual Family.

Receive this not with guilt but understand that it gives you great strength and commitment, for in reality this is the case. People believe that they are weak and so they look for other powers in the universe to guide them and to protect them. But here you are learning The Way of Knowledge, which is the way of true initiation. For this you will need strong companions. And they must become strong for you and you must become strong for them. You must become strong to find them. You must become strong to join with them. And you must become strong to advance with them. This is a gift.

Today spend time thinking about the meaning of today's lesson. It holds the key to understanding human relationships. A great deal can be revealed to you if you spend time considering the meaning of today's practice.

Look upon the world without condemnation but with clear eyes. See that without a greater purpose, human relationships cannot fulfill their greater meaning and value. These relationships can only be partial, and they are at the mercy of the conflicts of those who participate within them. And because these relationships are governed by the conditioning of the world, freedom and true self-expression will not be possible within them. Understand this and you will understand your past and a great deal about what has brought you to this point.

Continue your one daily practice in stillness and your hourly practices. Think about your greater companions.

Practice 5:      One 30-minute stillness practice.

                          Contemplation practice.

                          Hourly practice.

Picture:  A concert is the sort of venue one may go to, alone or in a group, looking for a relationship. Pécs, Hungary – May 22, 2010.

Note: Corrections were made to the intro of the audio and inclusion of practices on the PDF for CT Step 4 yesterday. Please replace those files if you’ve downloaded them. CT Step 4

From the journal: CT Step 4 - If I understand the world, I will understand myself.

6:28 a.m. August 28, 2001 – Tuesday – feeling somewhat better. The Step today – "If I understand the world, I will understand myself".

7:30 a.m. I see the world's movement. Its integration and disintegration. Population growth forces humanity. S2K says I am here to serve. I see an opportunity to pursue it slowly, patiently even. What more can I say or even think. I am confused, yet I lurch in what I feel is a forward direction.

→regions based on settlement patterns and governmental chartering.

1:03 p.m. Home for lunch. The Water Supply Committee met. It is going well. There will be an Authority…but no long-term work for me – it will have an engineer director… At the end of the meeting – Clayton headed off to Richmond. I had the sense that my work here is done and it is time to move on. I'll need a job – a contract – do I have something to sell? Maryland is a good bet? I was going to wait until I completed the second pass through Steps.

6:04 p.m. Practice #2 – I don't understand myself or the world. I meditated this a.m. and they aren't going to let me do that. This must be the contemplation time. It felt earlier today that my work was over at the RC and that I can now begin a more aggressive search, though the idea of a move scares me. I just don't want to work that hard. Neither do I want to be a politician. For too long a time I've been searching for, looking for my "other people".

Work has gotten so mundane as to be gagging me – Marie's continued and increasing helplessness. Steve is good, he’s an asset – with the political patter of suburbia – exactly what I'm not, but that is the Valley's future.

I see, have seen, have worked on – cooperation. Of the people that might listen to the argument, Gov. Glendenning is one. In the face of the needed work, the skill requirements and data needs, my brain melts.

11 p.m. Sarah is due in 9 – 10 days. I have nothing for her. The State of Texas should take her baby and put it in foster care. Is this being strong? Sarah can't take care of a child; she can't take care of yourself. Is this a multiplication of error? If destiny, it is a sad one. I'm focused on how I can deal…yet I can't.

→ How can the system get bigger without the individual being overrun?

 Sticking to the practices; much going on. We continue.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest, but this is the first time you’ve seen Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. Begin at the beginning.

If you do know about Steps, but have not done Steps twice completely, read the related materials, and have a sense of the direction of this study, you won’t get the experience. The Introduction begins:

“This is the Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training. It is designed to build upon the Steps that were learned in Steps to Knowledge to enable you to experience the grace, the power and the direction of Knowledge in your life and to become an expression of Knowledge in everything that you do. If you have completed the book, Steps to Knowledge, twice through and have followed the instructions as they were given without altering the curriculum in any way, then you are now ready to begin this more advanced study”.

If you are an independent student, that is certainly an option. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.