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| If I understand my relationships, I will understand my priorities. CT Step 44 |
Again we emphasize this matter of relationships and
priorities, inner choosing, inner freedom, and the emergence of a greater
purpose in your life. Certainly, the emergence of your greater purpose will
change your former obligations and responsibilities. Surely it will create a
fundamental shift here. Your position with everyone will change. With some
people, that change will seem minor. With others, it will be quite significant.
Understanding, then, your relationships as a
reflection of your values and how you view yourself becomes an important tool
in understanding your own development at this time. If you feel overridden by
the desires and the will of others, if you feel that you must carry forth
social commitments regardless of your own sense of restraint or anxiety,
clearly there is a problem here at hand. Clearly, your own authority is not being
exercised and your freedom is not being used. Knowledge knows where you belong.
Knowledge knows whom you must give yourself to. Knowledge understands your real
commitments in life and where they must be placed. Any commitments outside of
this are essentially weak and unstable and are subject to question. You must
question them.
Beyond your practice in stillness and your hourly
remembrances of awareness and discernment, again consider your obligations to
others. Ask yourself, "Is this relationship appropriate for me?" And
if you feel that it is, ask yourself, "To what degree must I commit myself
here?" Be careful not to answer your own questions, however, for the real
answer is waiting for you.
Practice 44: One
30-minute stillness practice.
Contemplation practice.
Hourly practice.
Picture: Wedding parade forming – The French Quarter,
New Orleans, Louisiana. The following is how it looked underway.
Many relationships in process; may
they have been understood then or in process now.
Plan B - If the MP3 doesn’t work, here’s the link
to the folder: New Message - Student Spoken Steps CT Recordings -
Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training - Working file
From the journal:
CT Step 43 - My responsibility is to Knowledge.
12:42
a.m. October 7, 2001
New
week. My life is changing. I called on the Unseen Ones for David, Sarah, Jamie
& the kids – Nasi Novare Coram → that is my only
fear – M.E. too → it is the
situation – they are learning – can they get peace soon for them/in their
children.
1:44
a.m. Though I am up late – normal for a Saturday, I can feel my life changing.
A funny joke on bin Laden – that he have his sex changed and return to
Afghanistan as a woman under the Taliban – I couldn't forward, though I
improved the story.
In
Reston tonight – seeing all those yuppie lives…enjoying it myself – wondering
if it is all going to disappear – is it wrong to so indulge? What is the other
way to live? My shift is to simpler…a challenge, but it has always been simple
– not Shaker simple, but…not
going for the top.
Cindy…
So hard to communicate there. I go along to be supportive and benefit from the
stimulus of travel. What can I do?
The
foundation is being put in place…the thoughts go in here…passing truth @
Markham – and remembering how that worked my development over the past 10 years
– listening, listening, listening – following, following, following –
2:08
a.m. Cindy's up…upset stomach. Bad fish or too much candy…stress or acid reflux
or what?
My
own awakeness…food, candy, my life…feeling the changes.
→ When I first
was "born again" in that experience, I gave to the Church – and found
things in my life. Now I give in a more measured way…mostly to my kids, being
cheap with myself, at least on clothes –
– My
responsibility now is to Knowledge – Step 43 –
6:02
p.m. "One of the things that limits and hinders people is their sense of
obligation to others". Text – Step 43 – "consider today any
obligations that you feel you have made to your friends, your family, or to
anyone else who might come to mind. Take time to contemplate this and ask
yourself, "Is this allegiance appropriate for me?"
Children
are allowed to have allegiance. Sarah and David have taken and continue to
require great energy. Y & Y; ME – Y Mom, Dad, Penny, Diane – appropriate at
these levels; Shenandoah Valley – Y;
The
journal entry begins: New week. My life is changing. Change
is so much fun. We are on this path for a reason and we continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest, but this is the
first time you’ve seen Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. Begin at
the beginning.
If you do know about Steps, but have not done Steps
twice completely, read the related materials, and have a sense of the direction
of this study, you won’t get the experience. The Introduction begins:
“This is the Steps
to Knowledge Continuation Training. It is designed to build upon the Steps
that were learned in Steps to Knowledge to
enable you to experience the grace, the power and the direction of Knowledge in
your life and to become an expression of Knowledge in everything that you do.
If you have completed the book, Steps to
Knowledge, twice through and have followed the instructions as they were
given without altering the curriculum in any way, then you are now ready to
begin this more advanced study”.
If you are an independent student, that is
certainly an option. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual
companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in
the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you
might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps
journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.
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