CT Step 58 - Today I will be attentive to what I tell myself. – Journal – CT Step 57

Today:  CT Step 58 - Today I will be attentive to what I tell myself. (MP3)

Today I will be attentive to what I tell myself. CT Step 58

Carry on your practice in attentiveness today by being attentive to what you tell yourself. You talk to yourself a lot, mostly to reinforce your past judgments and to confirm what you think already. This goes undetected. It is automatic. But today you have an opportunity to become more aware of this, for all falsehoods begin with what you tell yourself. All self-deception begins with what you tell yourself. All errors in discernment and discretion begin with what you tell yourself.

If you are about to say something personal or controversial to someone today, ask yourself ahead of time, "Should I really be saying this at this time and to this person?" Watch what you tell yourself, but listen for Knowledge. This attentiveness might seem like it requires a lot of work, but really it is saving you a lot of work because if you are not attentive, then you must repair the damage later, which can be very costly in terms of your time and energy. When you are being present, you are saving energy; you are saving time; in some cases, you are even saving your life.

In your practice in stillness, be attentive, but be attentive to Knowledge. When you are out in the world practicing upon the hour, listen within yourself. Look around. See where you are. See what is happening there. How is it affecting you? Is there anything you need to know? Carry this self-awareness further today by being attentive to what you tell yourself.

Practice 58:   One 30-minute stillness practice.

                          Contemplation practice.

                          Hourly practice.

Picture:  Rearview mirror ~ I-695 - Baltimore, Maryland Beltway. Why did I ignore the GPS route directions and use my own thinking? I should have been more attentive.

The view ahead - slowly approaching Exit 29 on I-695 - Baltimore, Maryland Beltway; an American rush-less rush-hours traffic slowdown.

Plan B - If the MP3 doesn’t work, here’s the link to the folder: New Message - Student Spoken Steps CT Recordings - Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training - Working file

From the journal:  CT Step 57 - Let me be attentive today.

Sunday, October 21, 2001

12:40 a.m. Step 57 – "Let me be attentive today".

9:17 a.m. on waking – forces impacting me – food bought and brought into the home attracting itself to be eaten. Food – the anti-hunger drug. Keeping the home simpler – what is brought into it is a force of attraction.

Knowledge is not in food. Food in my body does not create Knowledge.

10:11 a.m. – My meditation became very noisy as I contemplated the forces/presence of Knowledge relationship.

It took me back to Step 1 – "Knowledge is with me, but where am I?"

6:01 p.m. Back from a day of sporadic listening. Where did I encounter Knowledge today?… Writers in the Washington Post, Ed Mayhew – exercise – slow repetitions – as tai chi – builds power. Marathons create stamina, not physical strength necessarily; the design of Long Branch, musicians, herbal body packs, tea time with hats, back roads of Clarke & Warren Counties.

11:12 p.m. Attentive to nothing. What little K there is slips away. I am not doing much. Is there a reason – K or apathy. I looked ahead in the lessons. What is the mental environment here? What, if anything, contributes?

Learning to look; to discern; these are all things to learn and practice. When in the middle of an error, looking for the exits or just getting through; is a reminder that we have to be careful of what we tell ourselves, as well as not to judge ourselves, but learn in every seeming error. We continue.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest, but this is the first time you’ve seen Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. Begin at the beginning.

If you do know about Steps, but have not done Steps twice completely, read the related materials, and have a sense of the direction of this study, you won’t get the experience. The Introduction begins:

“This is the Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training. It is designed to build upon the Steps that were learned in Steps to Knowledge to enable you to experience the grace, the power and the direction of Knowledge in your life and to become an expression of Knowledge in everything that you do. If you have completed the book, Steps to Knowledge, twice through and have followed the instructions as they were given without altering the curriculum in any way, then you are now ready to begin this more advanced study”.

If you are an independent student, that is certainly an option. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.