CT Step 51 - My work is an expression of my life. – Journal – CT Step 50

Today:  CT Step 51 - My work is an expression of my life. (MP3)

My work is an expression of my life. CT Step 51

In the world, there are two kinds of work. There is the greater work that you have ultimately come here to do and there is the work that will enable you to find this greater work. Your true work requires your development and the development of others who will share your true work with you. You may not be ready for this, and they may not be ready for this. In either case, this lack of readiness can prevent you from discovering your greater work in the world. Therefore, the emphasis in most cases falls upon the work you have to do to find your real work. The work that people do to find their real work accounts for 99% of the work that is being done in the world today.

The work you do today either serves you or it does not. Therefore, in your Review of the Four Pillars, you want to make sure that the work that you are doing is assisting you in finding your greater work. Here the requirements for your work are not so great. Your work does not have to fulfill you. It does not have to represent your greatest values. It does not have to hold the ultimate meaning of your life. It simply needs to support you in your greater endeavors. It is like working your way through school. If your work in the world cannot fulfill this, then you will have to make changes in this Pillar.

One of the problems is that people often confuse their real work with the work they are doing in the world. They try to make the work they are doing in the world their real work. Or they try to avoid all work in the world and only do the work that is their real work before they are really ready to do it, before it can be done in such a way that it can support them. This is a problem in discernment. It is a problem in confusing levels.

It may take you a long, long time to find your real work and a much longer time for it to support you financially. In the interim, you do work that supports your real work. This is perfectly all right. In fact, it has to be this way. If you live in poverty because you have refused to do any work other than what you think is your real work, you will not have the power, the stability or the foundation to do your real work, even if it becomes known to you.

Here we have a problem in patience as well as a problem in the confusion of levels. People want things right now! "I want it now! I won't wait for it! I'll get it now!" They think that they can do this themselves, and so they choose some kind of occupation that they think will make them very happy. And they think, "Ah, that is my real work!" And they drop everything and sacrifice everything to go off and do that, but it’s not it. People’s real work is rarely what they think it is.

Your real work resides in the Mystery because if you were to discover your real work before you were able to do it, it would be a great tragedy for you, a great failure. Therefore, it is better that you not know. It is as if your real work were around the other side of the mountain, and you had to get over there to find it. From where you are now, you cannot see it. So you do the work necessary to get there. If you have humility, you will do this work. You will find a job that meets your primary needs, that supports you in your Four Pillars, and there are usually many choices here. If you are mature and can advance, you will not be in constant complaint about this work even though it is not really what you are ultimately here to do. This represents maturity, for here you are working for something greater than your personal fulfillment.

In today’s practice, think about these things. Consider what is being said here. Think about your own experience. Consider your own impatience. Think about the compromise you have to make here. It is not really a compromise at the level of Knowledge. It simply compromises your goals and ambitions. Can you wait? Can you work towards that which is truly worthy? Can you wait for the full expression of this? Are you willing not to know? Can you trust in Knowledge and in the Creator that these things are awaiting you in the future. Make these questions all part of your contemplation today.

In your time of stillness, let all these questions go and simply be close to Knowledge. Let your mind be free of its own thoughts and conditioning. Upon the hour practice awareness and discernment, but remember today to think about work.

Practice 51:    One 30-minute stillness practice.

                         Contemplation practice.

                         Hourly practice.

Picture:  Camera crew at airport. 

Plan B - If the MP3 doesn’t work, here’s the link to the folder: New Message - Student Spoken Steps CT Recordings - Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training - Working file

From the journal:  CT Step 50 - I must learn to use my body as a vehicle for Knowledge.

8:07 a.m. Sunday, October 14, 2001 – Step 50

"I must learn to use my body as a vehicle for Knowledge". This is a challenge. My relationship to my body has always been difficult. Mostly through my own misunderstanding and lack of a disciplined approach to exercise. Body is a burden, something to drag around. It is a source of sensual pleasures, but they are fleeting – needing more & more & more.

– Maroon – as blood…

8:23 p.m. Very, very upset – agitated – eating, eating, eating – a hike today 6 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. was good – stretched my hip.

Maroon – blood – my pasts – war, war, war – it agitates me… I can't focus or What is it?

9:31 p.m. I am so fucking angry I can't believe it. The to-do lists are undone. This life is insane…and I do not understand. Sarah is doing well, Mom and Dad OK – no news from David – this has nothing to do with anything in my life. I will let it pass – I do not know – maroon deep, deep, deep blood…

– I have no friends, no believers, NO audience. If I declared war I could raise an army, but to declare cooperation gets a yawn. There is no interest in such a poor cousin of an idea. We can demonstrate for peace and be beaten – draw attack, anything that draws maroon blood or hints at it. If it isn't a fight, what good is it – so I am hungry, angry, disturbed. The vehicle is wrong or is the road wrong or is it all misperception? I do not know except that I feel.

11:20 p.m. Some work on the computer – feeling a little better – still the shock – maroon is blood, is war. I live in relative peace, yet I get agitated about this world.

Angry on this day. Early on in my spiritual journey, I was told that maroon was not a color for me, but no reason was given. At this point I’ve connected it with blood and some sense that I’d been a warrior in the past. Whether or not such ideas reflect a truth or not his hard to tell, but they can be dealt with. Judging the world is something we are learning not to do, but it doesn’t come easy. We continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest, but this is the first time you’ve seen Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. Begin at the beginning.

If you do know about Steps, but have not done Steps twice completely, read the related materials, and have a sense of the direction of this study, you won’t get the experience. The Introduction begins:

“This is the Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training. It is designed to build upon the Steps that were learned in Steps to Knowledge to enable you to experience the grace, the power and the direction of Knowledge in your life and to become an expression of Knowledge in everything that you do. If you have completed the book, Steps to Knowledge, twice through and have followed the instructions as they were given without altering the curriculum in any way, then you are now ready to begin this more advanced study”.

If you are an independent student, that is certainly an option. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.