Today: CT Step 66 - My freedom is my gift to others. (MP3)
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| My freedom is my gift to others. CT Step 66 |
Your freedom is a gift. You gain your freedom not
just for yourself but for others. This generates true determination and
commitment, for you cannot afford failure here. Here your giving is occurring
even during your times of practice and preparation. Here you go beyond your
preferences, your wishes and your feelings in the moment and exercise a greater
authority over your time and your circumstances. You do this for yourself and
for others. And though you proceed with humility, you have this recognition. It
is a responsibility. It is a responsibility that the Wise everywhere must
assume, sooner or later. It is what gives them their commitment and their
power.
You as an individual do not have the answers. You
as an individual are not a god. But you can become a vehicle for Knowledge, one
of God’s representatives, a force for good in the world. But this power runs
through you. It is not yours to own. Here there is no mistake. Here there are
no saints and gurus and avatars proclaiming themselves, for the truly wise do
not do this. Their freedom is constantly being given because it is constantly
being demonstrated. They claim nothing else for themselves.
Therefore, do not have illusions of power or
grandeur here. You are exercising an essential right and contribution. Exercise
this by becoming still during your meditation and utilize this power to use
awareness and discernment upon the hour throughout the day.
Practice 66: One
30-minute stillness practice.
Contemplation
practice.
Hourly
practice.
Picture: Carson Trail - Shenandoah River, Front Royal,
Virginia.
Plan B - If the MP3 doesn’t work, here’s the link
to the folder: New Message - Student Spoken Steps CT Recordings -
Steps to Knowledge Continuation Training - Working file
Note: For CT Step 65 I did not get the MP3 and PDF up on Google drive with a link. The recording was made, just not uploaded. Under the weather yesterday. Sorry.
Note: For CT Step 65 I did not get the MP3 and PDF up on Google drive with a link. The recording was made, just not uploaded. Under the weather yesterday. Sorry.
[Note:
Long entry.]
7:15
a.m. Monday, October 29, 2001 – Step 65 – "I surround and protect myself
with the love and grace of God". This fall I've not yet had time to honor
the earth in a Native American way.
8:30
→ a.m. – In order
to move forward I must understand where I failed. There were numerous people
failures as I tried to do too much. Those are lessons. My challenge in life is
to hold up the mirror so people can see the emergence of "regional community".
9:24
a.m. A Monday at home. I'm confused – here in the mystery of my life, in the
mystery of the life stream on earth. There is a clear emergence to continue to
follow. I have no choice but to do that. I'm not doing it well. My pillars
remain unbalanced. I have explored and am aware of regional relationships. I
offer these ideas in a somewhat raw form. It is contrary to "conventional
wisdom." This per Robert Samuelson – Washington Post reporter.
→ What are the
outcomes of regional empowerment? – UU congregation, first church, and soon – a
regional building.
Turtle/hawk
view
The
past – can I understand my relationship errors? It wasn't just one thing…and,
there were enemies.
Must
there be a commitment to the continuation of human life?
I
keep waking up "here", Knowing life is being pushed forward (or is it
pulled?)
>
Settlement as defense. That is why Homeland Security <Home planet>
security is important. Other governments are moving to regions, the US has no
system, thus it is vulnerable.
To
not understand the power of aligned regions is a failure of imagination. States
are too large a geography. For wholeness, regional mapping is required. The
vision must go to the people – and higher leaders.
>
I was doing too much. I did not have the people I needed. They could not hear/or
chose not to hear/what I was saying/demonstrating.
10:15
a.m. I am in significant pain about my "leadership" abilities and
results. In GCS terms I imagine I'm looking for fulfillment and not getting it
because the results of my vision have not appeared yet. I've had few people
that could see what I see. I've not been able to communicate my emerging
vision.
S2K
says the wise remain hidden and messages must be given to the right people. I
guess this search for understanding is a result of lack of faith in the ability
of Knowledge to help.
S2K
says errors are real and Knowledge is expressed by others. With this book as
one man's expression of K about leadership I am trying to hold myself up to
those measures.
No
one follows my leadership – not my wife, children, employees, friends – or even
myself. So – is it that I lack stable character – I do not, have been unable to
be consistent and follow through because I try to do too much.
I
feel I owe to others so they will reflect my greatness and justify my being.
Alone I am nothing. I do not respect myself and therefore others do not respect
me?
Looking
@ my mistakes I'm lucky to be alive and lucky to be free of negative situations
that were functions of power, not productivity.
Am I
a leader anyway? I am a person who sees opportunities for improvement; for
creation of value.
→ My mode is
entertainment – my story as and "entertainment fool"
As
an entertainer, I'm not in much demand. How to entertain with maps! Mapping
community.
Information
is very costly. It must be collected in a way that is easy to use.
11:30
a.m. Life intrudes from Texas. Sarah calls for $740 transmission bill. M.E.
says I've been giving to David & not her. I tell Sarah story of my decision
not to [help] buy a house for David & Jamie – ME's anger and decision to do
that and how that has cost me lots of money that David owes me. So – October
was a $2,300 month.
[11/31/01
– I found out later this is Sarah's scam. She'd not talked to ME]
→ Back to my
problem of leadership.
→The law of
connection. Connect to the heart/care… 1st. With Marie – I lost my ability to
care because her needs were so great. It felt to me that she took more than she
gave. I let her do a lot of communicating and when she realized I didn't care,
she turned against me. I burned out on the needs that surrounded me. I was
overcommitted.
Thus
I became unburdened – and my real mission – GC Wisdom/Spirituality has come
forth. I was unbalanced – now I must re-balance.
12:41
p.m. → Planning w/o
geography – w/o the land w/o infrastructure. Coloring maps is not planning.
1:30
p.m. After lunch, email check, and C-SPAN – I return to me – my major project –
to understand my strengths and minimize my weaknesses.
>
Local governments feel that if they were given the money or the ability to tax
or complete ability to decide what they should do (no mandates) everything
would be fine. People are first – government and business/commerce come into
being to meet people needs. Everything is a response to growth, change or
decline. Some responses are more freeing than others.
→ The Law of Buy-in
– They buy-in to the leader first, then the vision. I told the Personnel
Committee there needed to be someone to take over – they bought that and took
over.
→ What is the
issue – they can't see the map, they can't read the map, they don't understand
the true challenge. Counties & states clearly mapped – regions not – Counties
were the first regions – urban & rural
2:38
p.m. Where am I? I'm 3/4 through the 21 laws of leadership. This is not fun. I
need to understand my personal failures. My goal in life is to be wise and help
humanity. I'm not doing a good job – at least as well as I want. S2K has been
helpful, but it does not tell me everything. I need to come to peace with the
past so I can go forward with my vision.
The
problem is to create an audience for my vision. It is about self organization,
empowerment and, in the greater community, survival. I need resources for my
life, but not that much.
To
lead you sacrifice. From 1983 to 2000 I did nothing but sacrifice. I sacrificed
also to children & wife. In 1995 I burned out.
Since
the shift I'm in shock often, but the sacrifice has stopped. I offer myself to
GCS – but do not suffer from it. There is a new – sacrifice to come – it is
work.
Leaders
need to Know about regions – Regions for leaders – inside out/outside – turtle/hawk
regions to manage/regions to empower – boundaries and boundary crossing –
Turtle and Hawk discuss regions. (At patience 5:22 p.m.)
3:15
p.m. I've read the 21 laws. I am angry still? It gave me some insights, but the
real problem is that I didn't know what my goal was. I sacrificed a lot and
felt angry when my wisdom and vision was not recognized. Like the carpenter who
developed the chronometer to determine longitude, or the man who put fossils
the other to make a geologic map of England… My vision is uncommon and I've not
defined an audience for the information. Instead of developing product today,
I've rehashed my failures and ignorances. That plus the impossible dependencies
of Sarah, David, Cindy and Mary Ellen make a wider vision become sucked away.
[11/3/01 – Yet these relationships are a big part of my awareness process.]
→ The region is
opportunity.
→ This book says
that people must by me to buy my ideas. That is not impossible when I speak.
4:52
p.m. On the trail; at Patience – for the first time in many months.
Where
am I? Confused about my place in the world and all the forces that take energy
from my vision of regions. I follow no one except Governor Holton whose vision
of regions was set out in the VADA.
My
ideas need to be expressed in product. My own fears and distractions have led
me away from results. I'm now working for order and it is slow. I have
financial fears.
5
p.m. How feel physically – emotionally – resting, exploring my turmoil, sexual
– fall woods – sundown – secluded – be not vulnerable –
Contemplation
– "I surround and protect myself with the love and grace of God".
I've
been spiritually unprotected and vulnerable often. I have been confused about
the world and my place in it. It seems I should help…but how to help, how not
to be rejected? Leaders help people help themselves. The purpose of enterprise,
organization is to create value.
→ coloring maps
is not planning → to get these
ideas out I must sacrifice more. I really don't want to sacrifice…but I have no
choice. Here am I send me is what my soul said. I've not been sacrificing with
Knowledge so the pain is greater than it need be. Though not fulfilled I can
get satisfaction on occasion. Such is the physical – moments of perfection, but
no long-term perfection.
So
this contemplation ends. This vacation day of self therapy – in my Walden Creek
SNP Woods.
The
trees are part of a regional forest. Nothing physical can span the globe in an
unbroken continuum, save perhaps the air. At any moment some is dust, some is
snow or it is pierced by mountains.
Together
it is a whole of regions – blending, crossing, bending boundaries.
So,
my reward for attempting to understand my pain is a still wider
vision.
And
the full moon appears through the trees. I am here to serve Knowledge. Knowledge
is my leader. And peace floods my soul. I am restored and
ready to return to the world. Amen & Amen T-om Su-ne
…
Excess
spare time leads to excess analysis? Well, this was all part of my journey.
There is repetition, then movement, then repetition, but the trend is forward. We
continue and keep committed.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest, but this is the
first time you’ve seen Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. Begin at
the beginning.
If you do know about Steps, but have not done Steps
twice completely, read the related materials, and have a sense of the direction
of this study, you won’t get the experience. The Introduction begins:
“This is the Steps
to Knowledge Continuation Training. It is designed to build upon the Steps
that were learned in Steps to Knowledge to
enable you to experience the grace, the power and the direction of Knowledge in
your life and to become an expression of Knowledge in everything that you do.
If you have completed the book, Steps to
Knowledge, twice through and have followed the instructions as they were
given without altering the curriculum in any way, then you are now ready to
begin this more advanced study”.
If you are an independent student, that is certainly
an option. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion
when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the
beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you
might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps
journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.
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