Today: Step 321 - The world is
awaiting my contribution. (MP3)
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| The world is awaiting my contribution. Step 321 |
TRULY THE WORLD IS AWAITING YOUR CONTRIBUTION, but remember
your contribution will express itself in all things you do, great and small. So
do not imagine for yourself a role that is grandiose or that will be
devastatingly difficult. That is not The Way of Knowledge. Knowledge will
express itself through all of your activities, for it is a presence you carry
with you. As your mind and your life become free of conflict, this presence
will express itself increasingly through you, and you will be a witness of
Knowledge at work, both within yourself and within your life. Here you will
begin to understand what it means to bring Knowledge into the world.
YOUR IMAGINATION HAS PAINTED GRANDIOSE PICTURES and
devastating nightmares for you. It is not in harmony with life. It exaggerates
life in its hope and in its fear. It exaggerates your sense of yourself,
primarily to your own self-deprecation. When your imagination is redirected by
Knowledge, it will engage itself in an entirely new way. It will serve an
entirely new purpose. Then you will be able to be free, and your imagination
will not betray you.
THE WORLD IS CALLING FOR YOU. You are now
preparing. In its great need you recognize your great contribution. But
remember always that your contribution gives of itself, and your desire to have
it give of itself is your desire to give. Your desire to have your life become
a vehicle of expression is your desire to have your life become unfettered by
conflict and ambivalence. Your desire to give is your desire to become free and
whole. This is your desire—to have your life be a vehicle for Knowledge.
YOUR TASK, THEN, IS GREAT but not as great as your
imagination might indicate, for your task is to perfect your vehicle so that Knowledge
may express itself freely. You do not have to wonder or imagine how this can be
done, for it is being done today and will be done tomorrow. As you follow the
steps within your current preparation and as you learn to follow the steps
beyond this preparation, you will see you need but follow the steps as they are
given to proceed.
UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF of your lesson and do
not forget. Look upon the world and realize that it is calling for you to contribute.
In your deeper meditations, re-enter your sanctuary in stillness and in
receptivity. In doing so, realize that Knowledge needs you to become its
vehicle. It needs you to become its recipient. It needs to fulfill itself
through you. Thus, you and Knowledge are fulfilled together.
UPON THE HOUR AND IN YOUR DEEPER PRACTICES TODAY,
realize the importance of your role. Realize as well that all true assistance
is given to you to prepare and will abide with you in your contribution as you
learn to express Knowledge and to allow Knowledge to express itself through
you.
PRACTICE 321: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Workaholic – I’ve been called that. This Step says
early: “…the greater your experience of
Knowledge within your life, the freer you are to work within the world.”
The first time through, I wrote: “I work for free
in the world.” Work, in my
upbringing, was always important and necessary, though it didn’t necessarily
lead to wealth. Satisfaction came from work. The Step confirms we are: “here to give to the world.” There is much work required in the world; figuring
out what part of it is ours/yours/mine is the challenge.
In 2011, I came to the thought that there was a
"community motive", given the failure of the "profit
motive". It built on my thinking about community and the three theses I’d
developed. The community motive, as I
observed and defined it was simply by saying that the most important things
people do in life, they are not paid for. These are done by family members,
people in the world and, if we learn, ourselves. So – my comment which sounds discouraged
and unappreciated, is really a beginning recognition about community.
From the journal:
6:38
a.m. July 5, 2001 –
– I
am free to work in the world. The work I've come to have is obscure,
frustrating and seemingly without reward. It is the data that is little used –
which prevents us then from understanding what is really happening. It takes us
out of our imagination to know what is really working and what is not. People
only want good data stories.
What
depresses me? Lack of acceptance? Lack of people who value the work?
Objectivity
needs to judgment and that takes one out of the world of imagination.
The
mind needs to be taught. That turns out not to be easy for the mind must
cooperate and, in order to have results, – an educated human capable of
learning and cooperating, the teachers must be good.
I,
for one, did like to learn. I had good teachers in school and solid, though
conflicted, parents.
Relationships…the
hardest part – and that now minimized.
text
– Step 320 "…recognize that to whatever extent you are still ambivalent
about being in the world, your ambivalence is caused and is being perpetuated
by your own intimidation and fear of the world".
"…you
made learn the great lesson that is being taught today, the great lesson that
you are becoming free to be in the world".
I do
have a fear of being in the world. I've had it for a long time. I learned early
to avoid fights and situations that were threatening. Front Royal has been
physically safe, as I learned my work and sought Spirit. S2K sends spirit back
into the world.
When
I am still and silent, life is perfect. Yet that is time to charge the
batteries for work in the world.
8:45
a.m. Why do my relationships feel insane?
What
do I Know?
I
have meaning, purpose and direction. I have an emerging work in the world.
Because it is contrary to the imaginations of many, its emergence is slow. My
spiritual family and guides support me. My earth family supports too, but they
have their own lessons and that takes support from me. It frustrates and
detracts from my work – at least that's how it feels. I am comfortable alone as
I pursue work and interact along the way with those who emerge it for me. It is
all very slow and it is life in the world. The world can shame me, defile me,
cause me pain, ignore me, put me down – and in earth time – make me miserable.
That is real, but not permanent to my soul – a risk I must accept (or already
being here – recognize I've already taken).
Since
I can't go back, I must go forward and build my power [Alone – I have no power.
It is only family and community], my responsibility – that ability to respond,
because of my meaning, purpose and direction.
Amen
and Amen
Thomas
J. Christoffel
10:01
a.m. I am becoming free to work in the world. I'm not yet there – I have fears.
I am facing them through practice.
Spirit
has planted inspirations in my mystery journals here that moves me along in
spite of my indolence.
I
love Cindy, I just wish she were easier to get along with. I imagine I've
chosen strong-minded women because of Mom. The intent is to become stronger
through dialogue, but that doesn't happen. It is all win – lose – competition.
In
our courtship it appeared to me that Cindy could learn and change… But that has
been less true than I needed it to be.
8:53
p.m. David has his money. The fines will be paid – he'll come to Virginia?
Sarah claims all is well.
…
So…the
Step "Today I am free to work in the world" and I did that – some was
appreciated, some was not. I have so much to do. Ed … said he worked late and
only went to bed because he knew he needed to sleep and would be cranky
without.
I
truly am alone…when I see these perspectives – but is there anyone that can
benefit – that does benefit? The NSVRC – will be the illusion of cooperation. I
can drive by – and not worry about what is being done or not being done. It may
go away – the cooperation – as though it had never been.
I
did not have the people for my vision. I couldn't bring them up – no matter how
hard I tried or lied – telling them they were good.
Progress
in understanding and dealing with the world. Let us continue.
Let us continue. The insights build.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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