x2 Step 90 – Journal Step 89 - My emotions cannot dissuade my Knowledge.

Today: Step 90 - Today I will make no assumptions. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 89 - My emotions cannot dissuade my Knowledge.

"My emotions cannot dissuade my Knowledge." Step 89

12:26 a.m. Thursday, November 16, 2000 – nothing has changed? Regional Being, Being Regional. Tell everyone… Hey look – you are regional. Your range of travel is enormous.

12:38 a.m. I read LTWOK – as I sit on my side, reading in bed, I know I've been reading like this – a married man/unmarried/then married again – for over 25 years. Each spiritual book expanded my thinking…now it's LTWOK/S2K/GCW…and I need to keep building my skills. So – this is my life of relationships. Amen & Amen.

7:10 a.m. "My emotions cannot dissuade my Knowledge." Step 89 – in spite of emotional pain, I move on.

This was a day to deal with emotional pain. The Steps book pages also are a place for journal comments. On this page, green ink is from the first Steps study, blue ink from the second. 

 

The Step begins:

“EMOTIONS DRAW YOU LIKE THE STRONG WINDS. They pull you from place to place. Perhaps in time you will be able to understand their mechanism more thoroughly.”

It goes on later to say:

“Even anger serves a greater purpose here, for it shows you that you have violated Knowledge. Though your anger may not be directed towards another, it is simply a sign that something has gone wrong and that correction has to be made.”

This provides hope that understanding can be achieved. This work-out is saving my life, though I’m not totally aware of it at the time.

Knowledge is getting me through a day at a time. I’d done much of the 12 Step program for Alanon in the 1980’, so I knew the value of having a practice. Steps to Knowledge is a similar methodology and can take one further. That’s what I required at this time of my life.

Thanks to Steps practice I was able to adapt and survive. I hope you aren't in such a position, but if so - it is good that you are doing Steps. Let us continue.

 NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.

x2 Step 89 – Journal Step 88 - My Higher Self is not an individual.

Today: Step 89 - My emotions cannot dissuade my Knowledge. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 88 - My Higher Self is not an individual.

"My Higher Self is not an individual." Step 88

12:01 a.m. Wednesday, November 15, 2000 … LTWOK –

7:04 a.m. Where am I? Still receptive, still open to learning, still seeking to Know Holy Spirit.

8:15 a.m. My life is moving on in a direction that remains unclear. Virginia has the best model of regional councils. I do need to write.

→local is fundamental. When people see too many small local governments they want consolidation to create a larger local government.

7:20 p.m. ... I've concentrated on the Step today – my higher self is not an individual. I'm in a web of relationships. The text for Step 88 says "You have two selves: the self that has been created and the self you have created. (ego?) The goal is to bring the self I've created into the service of my True Self and this ends the internal conflict.

9:41 p.m. I have to trust my higher self. I do not feel too uncomfortable at this point. I have trusted what I felt was spirit for many years, though I must have gotten off track some. My energy is different now…but I'm still getting thoughts/ideas – so I go on for the ride.

11:30 p.m. I seemed to be tired @10:20 p.m., but could not sleep. I got up – ate, read an article about traffic congestion/chaos theory, watched some TV – nothing out of the ordinary.

Am I wasting time, drifting, being untrue to my true self? Do Higher Selves care about TV, or relaxation or what?

Do "Higher Selves care about TV"? This is a reasonable, but perhaps not too deep question. Many relationships to sort out, try to make sense of. Then too, most people in the world do not give any attention to such thoughts. 

In the picture above, which is the self and which the Higher Self? The mirror or the light in the mirror, the camera viewpoint of driver, among other driven vehicles? Vehicles - bodies, with minds, looking at the world - navigating. Pictures I'm choosing are enigmatic for the most part, the answer is the one you might give - if entertained or puzzled by the choice. Let us continue. We aren't that far into the second time - x2.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.

x2 Step 88 – Journal Step 87 - I will not be afraid of what I know.

Today: Step 88 - My Higher Self is not an individual. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 87 - I will not be afraid of what I know.

“I will not be afraid of what I know” Step 87

11:26 a.m. Tuesday, November 14, 2000 – the challenge is to do What I know. LTWOK… In spite of weak moments today, RI moved forward.

7:58 a.m. Still Tuesday…feeling funky about going back to work. That is the place where I can "Do what I Know." ... 

Step 87 – I will not be afraid of what I know. The perfect lesson for where I am. I'll have to meditate @ noon & eve.

12:36 p.m. Meditation #1 – Step 87 – "I will not be afraid of what I know." This is been a long-term issue. There's a mismatch between the world and how it operates. My ideas are simple and scary to many. S2K says a wise remain hidden. I'm under a rock, but not by choice. I want to contribute, yet avoid pain. I don't Know if that is possible. Here I'm fading… Yet visible. There is more to learn.

...

5:39 p.m. Meditation #2 "I will not be afraid of what I know." What do I know?

I know that the movement of this pen is controlled by my spirit self. For the pen to move as I write, my spirit is served by my mind and then my body. It has taken much time and experience put this relationship together and understand it. I Know likewise, that all other humans and many other beings are also reflective of this same relationship. Spirit inhabits manifestation and directs it through minds/bodies.

To Know this relationship is apparently rare and it isolates me. Apparently, the minds and bodies of humans took over to such a degree that the connection to Spirit is remote and, where recognized, minimized.

Becoming spirit is a goal rather than the current reality. The physical/mental worlds are complex and interrelated. They draw souls, but there is limited communication. Thought systems have built up over time and they dominate.

The earth systems are isolated and don't take into account ET's here from other environments.

With Knowledge, I can awaken and assist humanity develop the community to deal with ET trespass.

6:25 p.m. I know that Knowledge/Holy Spirit is and that it will/can/is guiding my life.

The humanity of the world needs unity and it is that awareness I seek to create with regional community/regional intelligence. The goal far exceeds what I feel are my resources in this time and place

Humanity operates with mind/body under an ego system which is independent of the creator’s spirit. It is a temporary world, one not sustainable because it does not respect relationships with all life.

Is there spiritual bondage here? Perhaps. I can't understand, yet that is a thought.

... 

10:44 p.m. Back from Winchester – I bought Cindy a diamond anniversary ring. Struggling with the Step – and wondering what I know. My thought since reading Urantia was that once you got it – you disappeared from here – fused with your thought adjuster and flashed to the heavens.

With Holy Instants and Knowledge contact I've heightened – connecting experiences – but remain here in body. Spirits to guide manifestation, but here there is a gap – Earth Spell.

GCW says life is risky. We may be spirit, but we don't run the show. And whatever we do, we don't work alone. I've no clear partners – yet I’ve friends who have helped me, as I may have helped them.

I'm confused, but not fearful. I wonder if I'm near my purpose?

Now watching "Crossing Over" with John Edward – a lot remains petty on the other side…or is that life?

Quite a bit covered this day. The Step encourages thought. Also, notes on the Steps page.

As the page demonstrates, blue ink being this, the second year, being fallible was my great concern then. Different times, a Step has a different impact in one’s life.

NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.

x2 Step 87 – Journal Step 86 - I honor those who have given to me.

Today: Step 87 - I will not be afraid of what I know. (MP3)

Greetings All –

From the journal Step 86 - I honor those who have given to me.

"I honor those who have given to me." Step 86

 

7:20 a.m. Monday, November 13, 2000 – My first day as the writer for Regional Intelligence. I'd rather sleep – but that would lead to starvation.

The last thought I read in LTWOK last night was: "Do what you know." I've come to Know regions and that's what I've done to date. I can write a need to bring forth what I know in writing.

8:05 a.m. A new day – here to begin in a new way – my contribution to the world. Regions are networks, but they don't see themselves as networks. My goal is to shed some light on that perspective.

As I start out as a writer on regions, it feels like 1973 when I was trying to write my thesis. I would try to do it all in one day – that did not work. When I realized what I was doing, I said/wrote something to that effect on the typewriter and posted it in front of me.

When I went to urban affairs and planning, I was looking for my topic – my subject for film/communication. After 25 years I found it. Now I have to do it and earn my livelihood at it. This is a huge – invisible – challenge. It will not save the world – it is my contribution; it can help.

Step 86 – I honor those who have given to me.

Let me start with the assholes that gave me the literal boot: [six names] I'm angry for the limitations of these people,… Though I burned out and knew it, I had no way out. No place to go. So, on this first day devoted to RI, I honor them for burning my bridge?

This is a difficult planet. Many souls are angry. This comes to the fore. It is the lack of education. Children raising themselves. Tribes of children with no "greater perspective." It is offered in the media in some cases, but undercut by attitudes & advertisement.

Now to honor those of good intent who have given to me – there are first Everette and Helen – my parents. They gave what they could –…

I've had many good teachers who saw potential in me and sought to advance my education. [23 names]– a hyperactive kid – living with a spousal abuse family – All this giving I honor in this session for this step. I'm lucky to be alive and sane in a position to contribute.

…

→It is not simply crossing boundaries, but learning to work across local boundaries within inclusive communities of interest at all appropriate levels.

…

12:45 p.m. Lunch break. This is interesting, but not fun. Where is my audience? Who will pay me to think and solve problems? To whom can I sell myself about this skill I think I have?

1:48 p.m. The new Christoffel Columbus – out to prove the world is regional. Three ships – the Internet/the mind/the heart.

…

I need more focus…and I still like my job. It is from there that community can be leveraged. There are too many options for regional cooperation among locals, so the states need to define regions and get agencies to use them. Same with the feds and multi-state regions. Higher levels have to support the networking.

…

Step 86 #2 – I honor those who have given to me. David and Sarah have given me gray hair, and much more of value. Their contribution to me was giving my life meaning. I wrote many obits…my love life/relationships were so bad…but they were always a reason to stay in body.

Giving to me has been continuous. The few who have given me crap are limited, though they’ve had a short term impact. I faced today the challenge of how do I sell my ideas, find clients?

My world has been based on giving. I did, however, expect return. That may be where I erred. I started to take exceptions, want that anyway. I am in that third sector…and need a mundane job, something low hours and high pay. I can simplify everything but food.

Still – for this lesson I must honor and recognize those that given to me:–[86 names] and many, many more – the guides and unseen ones.

The journal had 14 pages of writing this day. It has been trimmed for this entry. Like the actors bowing on the Prague Estates Theater stage in the picture above, this day I honored the actors in my life. Villains too, for whom I’ve begun to forgive, though it will take many years of this Step to get clear. If you did not write out your own list, in the future – when this Step repeats – how will you know if you are making progress? Perhaps you have a great memory, but I don’t – so the journal supports my memory. Be patient. Let us continue.

 NNC

 

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.