Today: Step 243 - I do not need to be special to give. (MP3)
 |
| I do not need to be special to give. Step 243 |
THE ATTEMPT TO BE SPECIAL UNDERLIES ALL HUMAN
AMBITION. All human ambition that is not born of Knowledge is born of the
attempt to offset the grave disappointment and great anxiety of separation. The
attempt to be special is the attempt to fortify separation. It is the attempt
to make yourself greater at the expense of others. It always denies life and
Knowledge and always leads to greater confusion, frustration and despair.
YOU ARE FREED THIS DAY FROM ATTEMPTING to make
yourself special, for in this way you will find the true relief that you have sought
in all of your previous endeavors. What is special in you is your unique form
of expression of that which is inherent in all life. Then, that which joins
life and is life is affirmed. Your individuality is affirmed as well, but not
to the exclusion of the value of any other expression of life. Here you are not
special. You are simply you. You are greater than an individual because you are
part of life, and yet you are an individual because you express life
individually. Here all conflict and confusion end. That which is limited
expresses that which is unlimited, and that which is unique expresses that
which is inherent and intrinsic. This is the resolution that you seek, for you
do not really wish to be special. You only wish to have your individual life
have purpose, meaning and direction.
UPON THE HOUR THINK OF THIS after you repeat the
idea for today. In your deeper practices, enter into stillness and peace once again.
Do not petition for answers because you do not need to do this in your
meditation practices. Your time now is to practice receiving Knowledge, in which
your individuality is honored and confirmed for its true purpose and in which
your specialness, which has only been a grave and impossible burden for you, is
gently lifted from your shoulders. Do not seek to be special today, for that is
not the purpose of your life. Then, all fear of death and destruction will
leave you. Then, all judgment and comparison with others will leave you. Then, you
will be able to honor life and honor your relationships, which are an
expression of everything today’s lesson will teach you.
PRACTICE 243: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
From the journal: Step
242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge.
6:55
a.m. Wednesday, April 18, 2001 – being a good person for this life and the
next. It's not Karma – just getting your next role.
6:57
p.m. A Post-it has written on it "Tom's Real Work" – A question or
statement with an answer. 1/22/02
7:05
p.m. Home from work – Angry – angry that the regional data is not being done –
angry that no one else I know sees the value or the need – angry that I don't
have the resources to do it quickly and fear that time will take too long. I
lost status @ PDC. That may be for the better in the long run, but I neither
see it nor feel it.
8:12
p.m. Anger becomes apathy. Food, tea, TV – energy lost. Back to zero. So – LTWK – a little reading. Isolate from
distraction and work into oblivion? Not where I want to go.
LTWK
page 9. The more I read, the more I reduce my expectations.
"…
seek to find that which is essential within you".
9:05
p.m. I want a miracle. There won't be one. I have an opportunity to work. I
want a miracle. David and Sarah are learning to live their lives. Mine is
falling apart. Not because I don't have meaning, purpose and direction, but
because I've been hurt in relationships. My truthfulness… lost to lies. At
work, the world of nothing rules. People are doing less than nothing. I've been
robbed. I can't seem to get over it. It is bizarre. I should be working on
database programming. I'm not.
–
Practice #2 – "My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge". In
spite of the agony of the day, I was able to give to … – in my job – I can give
all the time.
My
problem is that I cannot give more, I cannot give all.
11:49
p.m. Wednesday, April 18 – 2001. Pillars – relationships – I need to move
forward to a higher experience of spirit in my life/as my life – and leave the
past and present distractions. I can't return to a "Jesus loves me"
Bible world, even though I'm a dumb kid sometimes.
Steps thinking roils the mind; the mental waters.
Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
No comments:
Post a Comment