x2 Step 214 - I do not understand myself. – Journal – Step 213

Today:  Step 214 - I do not understand myself. (MP3)

I do not understand myself. Step 214

 

THIS IS NOT A STATEMENT OF FAILURE OR LIMITATION. It is simply a statement to liberate you from your own impediments. How can you possibly understand yourself if Knowledge is not revealing all things to you? How can you possibly understand the world when Knowledge is not revealing the world to you? This is pure experience, beyond all concepts and beliefs, for concepts and beliefs can only follow the experience and attempt to provide a structure where the experience can arise again. In no way can beliefs, assumptions or ideas possibly imitate Knowledge itself.

OF COURSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOURSELF or the world, for you only understand your ideas, and they are not eternal. Therefore, they cannot provide a solid foundation upon which you must learn to stand. Thus, they can only fail and deceive you if you rely upon them instead of Knowledge to reveal yourself and the world to you.

UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF that you do not understand yourself. Free yourself from the burden of justifying your own judgments. Look upon yourself in your deeper meditation practices and remind yourself that you do not understand yourself. Now you are free to enter into stillness, for you are not attempting to use your experience to justify your fantasies about yourself. Here your mind becomes free to be itself, and you become free to appreciate yourself.

PRACTICE 214: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

I may not understand myself, but I am keeping a journal and doing my Steps daily, as the pile on the nightstand shows in this 2009 picture from London.

From the journal:  Step 213 - I do not understand the world.

6:34 a.m. March 20, 2001 – Angry this morning. The NARC – IRC – (Institute of Regional Communities) Report on State of the Regions is just a survey of what Regional Organizations do. It is not a comprehensive review of State Standard regions. Create competition among Governors – my State has better regions than yours – a better network.

I hate this – it irritates me – makes me more mono-maniacal about the need – and hurt more when people don't get it.

The purpose of maps is to visualize relationships that are at a scale which you can't see.

I'm angry and hurt. I can only get over it and move on.

> We map the world to try to understand it.

> Regional landscapes – Bill Dodge and Ed McMahon

> To be a force for Good –

> My plan, my role has yet to emerge with clarity.

→Regional Community Initiative – fund, define and evolve the tools for local - regional communities

– My Region

– My City

      County

      Town

      – – Region?

      State

      Country

      Planet

8:29 p.m. Home – had a good time lecturing to Joe C…'s technology class about GIS. An interesting day… The audit has begun… Where will it lead. The events going in to my shift were due to my inability to apply Knowledge in the given situations.

It was interesting, yet as Step 213 says: "I do not understand the world".

This time, blue ink, the words: “your beliefs and assumptions are meant to be tools to serve your mind” look like the description of: “An operating system”.

It still seems that way today. Let us continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.