Saturday, August 29, 2015

x2 Step 241 - My anger is unjustified. – Journal – Step 240

Today:  Step 241 - My anger is unjustified. (MP3)

My anger is unjustified. Step 241

ANGER IS UNJUSTIFIED, FOR ANGER ALONE is merely your response to your failure to apply Knowledge. This engenders anger at its very source. But this need not happen, because anger is a response. As a response it can generate anger in others and stimulate a violent response internally and externally wherever it is applied. Knowledge, however, will redirect anger so that it has no destructive qualities, for what you wish to express is that which fortifies Knowledge in others. It is the strength of your conviction and not your desire to hurt yourself or others that is the true efficacy of the emotion that is the core of anger. Thus, it may be said that your anger is a true communication that has been distorted by your own projections of blame and fear. Once these distortions have been cleared away, the true communication that is the seed of all anger can be expressed. This can only bring about good.

ANGER, THEN, IS NOT JUSTIFIED, for it is a misinterpretation of a true communication. Your anger is not justified because anger is born of confusion. Yet, confusion calls for preparation and the true application of Knowledge. Therefore, the sinful are not punished but are attended to. The wicked are not sent to hell but are prepared for Heaven. This is the true nature of God’s purpose in the world. That is why God can never be angry, because God is not offended. God is merely applying God to a situation where God has temporarily been forgotten.

IN THE GREATER SCOPE OF THINGS, even the separation of all individual minds is a very temporary occurrence. You cannot think yet at this level and will not be able to do so for a long time, for you must undergo the various stages of development that integrate your mind into greater and greater experiences of relationship and life. But as you proceed and as you take each vital step that expands your horizons, you will begin to understand that anger is unjustified. It merely represents a failure to apply Knowledge in a particular situation. This calls for remedy not for condemnation. Here you will realize that your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication. Therefore, we wish to clean away that which has spoiled your true communication so that your true communication may shine forth, for true communication always comes from Knowledge.

THINK OF THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR. In your deeper practice periods, actively engage your mind in looking at every single thing that you are angry about, from very tiny things that are specific to things in general that upset or discourage you. Remind yourself as you review your inventory of anger that your anger is unjustified. Remind yourself that it calls for the application of Knowledge and that within each angry experience or feeling that you have, there is a seed which is true. Therefore, your anger need not be rejected but cleansed, for in cleansing your anger you will be able to communicate that which you intended to communicate in the beginning where you initially failed. Then your self-expression will be complete, and anger will be no more.

PRACTICE 241: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

This was a challenging Step. In the material it says: “It requires Knowledge to follow Knowledge. It requires Knowledge to prepare for Knowledge. Thus, Knowledge is exercised even as you approach it.” That I underlined on the Steps page.

The green ink is from the first time; blue is 2001 this day in the journal. The note takes the view that for the mind to become “more simple and open” is “A promise”.

April 16, 2001 – Monday

11:14 a.m. Knowledge is needed to pursue Knowledge. I've begun the process. Letting go of the past, letting go of habits – takes time. Their lack of value gets proven once again and their pull weakens. My focus has improved but I am still uncertain how to live the S2K Puritan way.

11:15 p.m. 12 hours later. Back from Virginia Beach. David called – he and Jamie are staying together. He said it was cheaper to keep her. He's maturing in the face of American social & economic realities.

Cindy was bummed out after the call …. I plan to go for a walk to get some of my nervous energy out.

Going past the office I didn't stop it. It was as though the Valley Tribal Council is in the conference room and wanted to meet. I felt they'd let me down and needed someone else. That was a strange thought – but it stuck. If they could have helped – they didn’t – not in a way I could get it.

The solution has to be big. It just can't limp from NSV to SU – Marsh Institute. I don't know how it will go. The advantage of simply saying no came to mind. Saying no to David and Jamie – got them to move.

Now – at work, I'm in a position where I can say no. Before it seemed like I always had to say yes.

Physical exercise… That's what I need.

Small ideas. They get us moving, but where we are going? Let us continue.


Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.

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