Today: Step 241 - My anger is unjustified. (MP3)
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| My anger is unjustified. Step 241 |
ANGER IS UNJUSTIFIED, FOR ANGER ALONE is merely your
response to your failure to apply Knowledge. This engenders anger at its very
source. But this need not happen, because anger is a response. As a response it
can generate anger in others and stimulate a violent response internally and
externally wherever it is applied. Knowledge, however, will redirect anger so
that it has no destructive qualities, for what you wish to express is that
which fortifies Knowledge in others. It is the strength of your conviction and
not your desire to hurt yourself or others that is the true efficacy of the emotion
that is the core of anger. Thus, it may be said that your anger is a true
communication that has been distorted by your own projections of blame and
fear. Once these distortions have been cleared away, the true communication
that is the seed of all anger can be expressed. This can only bring about good.
ANGER, THEN, IS NOT JUSTIFIED, for it is a
misinterpretation of a true communication. Your anger is not justified because
anger is born of confusion. Yet, confusion calls for preparation and the true application
of Knowledge. Therefore, the sinful are not punished but are attended to. The
wicked are not sent to hell but are prepared for Heaven. This is the true
nature of God’s purpose in the world. That is why God can never be angry,
because God is not offended. God is merely applying God to a situation where
God has temporarily been forgotten.
IN THE GREATER SCOPE OF THINGS, even the separation
of all individual minds is a very temporary occurrence. You cannot think yet at
this level and will not be able to do so for a long time, for you must undergo
the various stages of development that integrate your mind into greater and
greater experiences of relationship and life. But as you proceed and as you
take each vital step that expands your horizons, you will begin to understand
that anger is unjustified. It merely represents a failure to apply Knowledge in
a particular situation. This calls for remedy not for condemnation. Here you
will realize that your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected,
for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication.
Therefore, we wish to clean away that which has spoiled your true communication
so that your true communication may shine forth, for true communication always
comes from Knowledge.
THINK OF THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR. In your deeper
practice periods, actively engage your mind in looking at every single thing that
you are angry about, from very tiny things that are specific to things in
general that upset or discourage you. Remind yourself as you review your
inventory of anger that your anger is unjustified. Remind yourself that it
calls for the application of Knowledge and that within each angry experience or
feeling that you have, there is a seed which is true. Therefore, your anger
need not be rejected but cleansed, for in cleansing your anger you will be able
to communicate that which you intended to communicate in the beginning where
you initially failed. Then your self-expression will be complete, and anger
will be no more.
PRACTICE 241: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
This was a challenging Step. In the material it
says: “It requires Knowledge to follow Knowledge. It
requires Knowledge to prepare for Knowledge. Thus, Knowledge is exercised even
as you approach it.” That I
underlined on the Steps page.
The green ink is from the first time; blue is 2001 this
day in the journal. The note takes the view that for the mind to become “more simple and open” is “A promise”.
From the journal: Step
240 - Small ideas cannot fulfill my need for Knowledge.
April
16, 2001 – Monday
11:14
a.m. Knowledge is needed to pursue Knowledge. I've begun the process. Letting
go of the past, letting go of habits – takes time. Their lack of value gets
proven once again and their pull weakens. My focus has improved but I am still
uncertain how to live the S2K Puritan way.
11:15
p.m. 12 hours later. Back from Virginia Beach. David called – he and Jamie are
staying together. He said it was cheaper to keep her. He's maturing in the face
of American social & economic realities.
Cindy
was bummed out after the call …. I plan to go for a walk to get some of my
nervous energy out.
Going
past the office I didn't stop it. It was as though the Valley Tribal Council is
in the conference room and wanted to meet. I felt they'd let me down and needed
someone else. That was a strange thought – but it stuck. If they could have
helped – they didn’t – not in a way I could get it.
The
solution has to be big. It just can't limp from NSV to SU – Marsh Institute. I
don't know how it will go. The advantage of simply saying no came to mind.
Saying no to David and Jamie – got them to move.
Now
– at work, I'm in a position where I can say no. Before it seemed like I always
had to say yes.
Physical
exercise… That's what I need.
Small ideas. They get us moving, but where we are
going? Let us continue.
NNC
Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
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