x2 Step 19 – Journal Step 18 - Today I feel the truth arising within myself.

Today: Step 19 - Today I wish to see.  (MP3)  

Today I wish to see. Step 19

THE DESIRE TO SEE IS LIKE THE DESIRE TO KNOW. It too requires a refinement of your mind’s faculties. To see with clear vision means you are not seeing with preference. It means that you are able to perceive that which is actually occurring rather than that which you wish to see. There is something actually occurring beyond your wishes. This is very true. The desire to see, then, is the desire to see a greater truth. This requires a greater honesty and a greater openness of mind.

TODAY IN YOUR TWO PRACTICE SESSIONS, practice looking upon one simple mundane object. Do not take your eyes off of that object, but look and practice looking very conscientiously. You are not trying to see anything. You are simply looking with an open mind. When the mind is open, it experiences its own depth, and it experiences the depth of what it is perceiving.

CHOOSE ONE SIMPLE OBJECT THAT HAS VERY LITTLE MEANING for you and gaze upon it twice today for at least 15 minutes. Allow your mind to become very still. Breathe deeply and regularly as you gaze upon this object. Allow your mind to settle down into itself.

PRACTICE 19: Two 15-minute practice periods

From the journal: Step 18 - Today I feel the truth arising within myself.

This Step, like others, gives us a checklist:

To come into the proximity of Knowledge means that you become more and more like Knowledge itself—

more whole,

more consistent,

more honest,

more devoted,

more concentrated,

more self-disciplined,

more compassionate and

more self-loving.

All of these qualities are developed as you approach that which is the source of these qualities.

Measuring ourselves against these metrics, we can determine if we are making progress.

The journal offers a bit of my day:

Wednesday, September 6, 2000

…

2:45 p.m. #2 Today I feel the truth arising within myself. Here at Celestial Seasonings – I pinched the set of earplugs – lost the ones I bought at McGuckin hardware for 59¢

In the first 15 minute session the truth I sensed, I felt, was that "I was true" – and "I am truth," which was comforting. Still – the physical sense of lack and fear in the world…burdens and errors. My mission is true – this awareness of regions/scales – it all keeps coming. GC is a true tool for me.

11:50 p.m. Another day in Colorado. According to Jerry R – their tax cuts are ruining the state.

Well, I did have a positive experience, or so the language conveys, yet I also took earplugs. More work needed on “honest,” or should I rationalize I away, give all the product we’ve purchased from the company?

I did have a “sense of lack,” but that is a symptom of not being at home in the world. Let us continue.

NNC

Note: If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.